Basically. Okay, confess, in recent times I've dealt a mosquito a blow 'r two. That's mostly the influence of my dastardly other half however. Yep, the old set-the-boyfriend-on-the-mozzy syndrome.
Personally I got no probl'm chilling in the company of a cockroach, to many people's disgust I'll even be happy to feed said cockroach some jelly bean if it behaves itself.
On the subject of my other half, her mother doesn't like caterpillars. Really doesn't like them. Guess everyone's got something. For me it's plastic buttons - let's not go down this road.
A lot of folks'll think an irrational dislike of caterpillars is whacky, myself included, but I reckon I'm gonna' change that tune now.
I've been bitten by a generous array of God's glorious designs - mosquitoes, mites, fleas, ants (mmm, formic acid anyone?), cats, dogs-a-plenty (still bear a nose scar), horses, rats (heel to eyelid and everywhere in between), thigh-bruising geese, over-inquisitive goats, I'm sure the list goes on...
 |
| Actual accountable caterpillar may vary. (took this shot way back ) |
Bleuaaargh!
Just kidding, I think it's gorgeous. But what isn't gorgeous, and nobody told me this is possible when I'm living in poison-paradise, Australia, is getting it's bristles good and in ya.
Lungs and eyes = particularly nasty.
O.K. technically not a bite, but the subsequent burn and itch of getting these hairs in yer thigh (thru jeans mind ya) is no fun.
"Yes, sir. Certainly I'll spend a day, dressed as a ghostbuster, operating a moon buggy with an atari joystick, from a cage 5 storeys up, firing high pressure water everywhere. Oh, yer gonna' pay me for that too? Bonus!"
Heh heh, alright, if you knew me you'd know a decent percentage of my juvenile mind helps fill a day of operating a boom lift and water-blasting walls as - yay, I'm playing Terminator!
Thus, a day of scrub-cutting and line-trimming (in what I can only describe as Poison Ivy's backyard) quickly gets turned by my imagination into - yay, I'm playing Predator!
That said, I'm still a perfectly competent and responsible worker.
One supposed solution to Caterpillar-quills all up in your shizzle, is to get adhesive tape and gently stick-and-peel it over the affected area to remove the fine hairs. Serious, how many Rangers are skipping thru the wilderness with back-packs full of adhesive tape?
I think they'll have to rewrite Predator just for me now...
Poncho - "You're hit! You're bleeding, man!"
Blain Cooper - "I ain't got time to bleed"
Poncho - "Oh, okay. Have you got time to duck?"
(EXPLOSION)
Blain - "..."
Poncho - "Oh, I also saw a caterpillar having a spasm on your trousers. Have you got time to see if it's gone, gently apply and remove adhesive tape, administer a little hydrocortisone, and resist the urge to scratch as it only spreads the hairs around?"
Blain - "It's Nam all over again!"
There's little more important to me right now than photoshopping a caterpillar to Jesse Ventura's face, but alas, my photoshop 'puter is outta commish.
You'll get by.
"Chances are, if you're not cheating at the game of life, I'll never see you on the cover of a magazine" - Rihia2k.
No comments:
Post a Comment