Goblin's Gold. (Gold!) ...

...

Always believe in your soul
You've got the power to know
You're indestructible --- hmm, mm, mmmhm mm...

<ahem> <ahem>

I would apologize, but I was born 5 months before Pacman.
So Spandaux Ballet references are just gonna' come out, 'ight?

Actually 'reviewed' a Holdson boardgame a post or two back.
But daresay this games got a little more something going for it than dreaded Hoodwik.

Yey hah, Goblin's Gold. Licensed by Holdson. Published by Jumbo Games, er... something like that.

2-4 players.
30 mins playtime
Ages 7+

Rules are rules, huh?
Boxshot...

Note: Goblin's Gold, also released as Magical Maze ... somewhere out there.
But I get Goblin's Gold here in Southern Hemisphere Land.

So? What would a boardgame's boxshot be without an inane summary of the playin' rules?

... you put it together, unless you're one of those lazy manipulative kids ...

... VIOLENT. MALE. TROLLS ...

While chasing the gold, Goblin the magician is constantly blocked by violent male trolls...?

That's quite unnecessarily specific.

Violent Male Trolls. Who don't pay child support.
Hopefully Holdson's gender outlining instructions resulted in a massive reduction in domestic violence... in Switzerland... that year. Yeah... hopefully.

It's charming our main protagonist is named Goblin, yet doesn't resemble the standard villianized, homogenized, pasteurised Goblin archetype prevalent in Hollywood flicks or TSR games.

Aw, he's magnetic too. Relevant to Senõr Goblin's gold trawling objectives.
 

 Folding board...

9 subterranean maze boards...

 

... perfect for fridges and rangehoods ...

1 x magnetic gold piece...

And, like, 29 violent male trolls... all screaming Kilroy Was Here...

... and your set.
(Edit: make that 30, one was hidden in a tub of cowboys and indians)

How's It Work?
Nice and simply.

... hell if you have a fear of domes ...

Randomly 'ssort your nine subterranean boards...

... no dice, chum ....

With our magnetic gold piece sitting in the centre, the randomly arranged panels have an interchangeable maze of ridges set up on the underneath ...

... board atop that, get yer Goblin on.

The magic is that when the gold playing piece 'neath the board connects to Goblin through the panel it draws his magnet and raises his arm. Hit a hidden barrier below and he drops the gold, lowers his arm. Simple, but original. And certainly enough of an angle to keep the younglings interested.

Players simply take turns shifting Gobby across the play field and when you inevitably hit a ridge...

... it's troll o'clock.

... comparatively 10'' tall. But  male. And violent. And Goblin hates to share ...

Trolls basically serve as the memory token of a previously blocked path prior to the next players turn. Fortunate, cos y'know, wizards = senility and the like.

To Win.

Get Gob's shite to your corner and you shall have towered above and beyond your peers in every way.
And you'll have a decent fridge magnet to show for it.

Ayup. That's the deal, rinse and repeat. Despite it's absurd simplicity, it's a clever gimmick, I find GG to have a decent shot at re-playability too, provided you let it sit a couple months between fireside evening blasts.

------------------

Still bugged by those trolls being pinned down as violent honestly.
- Annoying? yes.
- Path obscuring? doubtless.
- Cock-blocking? probably.
But if Gobby's afeared for his well-being, maybe he shoulda' requested a lil' back-up.

'Cos this game would be over a lot quicker if it were called Chinasaur's Gold.

Totalled.

----------

"Give a man a fish: and you'll feed him for a day.
"Teach a man to fish: and he'll probably join a corporate fishing giant and destroy your humble livelihood." - rihia2k.

Okay.

Poli-dicks...

... don't worry, promise I will never talk about politics here.

Not properly at least.

Bad enough I had to subject you to some cheesy archaic metal last time, a la Manowar.
Just needed a steel lullaby after some time with machines.
Don't let that be reflective on my atrophied and ancient musical tastes.

But it's coming up to election time in New Zealand. Ah, poli-dicks. About this time all of the dicks come out the woodwork, smeary campaignage this, information leaks that.
Why would we would vote for any team clinging to the illusion that pushing others down provides you with a sense of height?... an age old question.
 
I just love that J-Rex's Aunt is, at this moment, bribing young plumbers working at her house with chocolate Moro bars, not only to sway them who to vote for, but simply to vote at all.
Chocolate is more powerful than the sword.

In all honesty, like deciding what you'll eat tonight, or which property to buy, it's easier selecting who you won't vote for.

 Human's are massively visual creatures.

Tell me it ain't true.

I'm not wearing socks, but if Barack had an undulating star-shaped, rainbow coloured cyst on his chin. He probably wouldn't be sitting where he is.


Not biased on this blog, go vote for a plastic bag all I care, but... 
I'm going to run risk of extreme bias here, because I'm as visually human as the rest of you.

 AW,  COME ON!
Are you threatening me?

Think politicians are meant to want you thrusting babies in their 
faces around about now....
... but I, ehh, think that grassy field is a serious no-go-zone for any of my potential offspring. C'mon, were Colin Craig's photographer's working for the opposition? Did he put shit under their car door handles? Can that facial expression even be categorized as an actual smile?


AW,  COME ON!

...a picture is worth a thousand words, and a few acronyms in this case, OMFG comes to mind...

 Like I said no true bias, if this were my Jedi Master I'd still be lambasting him left, right and centre for trying to use this as promo-material. Attempts at pleasantry aren't supposed to look like they cause repressed mental anguish, Obi Wan.

 Okay, enough, the country's already body slammed Colin Craig into submission for the above visual faux pas. And C.C's not the worst devil gracing Kiwi parliament right now.

Still, last week I'm driving north, it's nearing election time, thus entering a small city comes with the cost of multiple politician's faces and slogans posted along the way. Fine.
Drooling jackals all, I'm sure, but faces with smiles, an' various bright colours recognizably representing their different candidates and leader's parties.

Ye olde green, red, and boo, yup.

Followed by...

... black & white is the new black & white...
(insert police sketch here)

 Aw, what the hell?!
That isn't technically smiling, Colin!

I'm driving, man.
Are you trying to blow up my car radiator with your mind?

Realize these are serious times, but you are aware Orcs are not trying to take over New Zealand as we speak?

Naw, not picking on you personally, but if your photographers are gonna' make you appear as an unmasked Ringwraith, give me the job.




I'm always looking for another commission, as my last wedding photography gig only paid me in comic vouchers. (which is actually fine)

Guess all the good colours were taken, and I can completely respect B&W.
When it's Breakfast at Tiffany's or Sin City.

Sigh, Conservative Party, need I says more? Oh well, hear Adelaide, SA, is good this time of every year.
And a Sunday there's 'bout as 'servative as it gets. (speakin' from 'sperience.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y'know, old Col' was a lovely, young, rosey, full faced man in his day.
As the old ducks say.
But I say, never trust a skinny politician. 'Cos least with the fat guys you know where your tax dollars are going.
(while the general public moans 'bout welfare recipients sucking up taxpayer pings, sigh)

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Aye, give your poli-promo photographer's job to me, brother.
Promise to make you look like something more than dat -

...if Slenderman has a face...

 No true bias. This man. Not the top of the Kiwi wanker list. But you tell me that ain't one helluvan easy target flyer showing up in your letterbox as though there were no escape.

There is no escape.

-"What sign a name? That which we call a road, by any other name would smell as street."
- りひ あ2k.