So it's 6.01am, alarm blares, clumsy hand reaches to stifle the unwelcome sound of enforced consciousness.
What's the first vision that greets you in your waking life?
Valkyrie pouring your coffee? Quadrupedal fur ball licking your face? Your own hand trying to block out the impending light of dawn?
Or, like me, is there a fifty/fifty chance you're greeted by the proverbial chauvinist cigar-chomper? A steroid-built, bubblegum-chewing shaved-ape? A mega-macho, anti-hero, male-fantasy character produced by a bunch of mouth-breathing key-punchers?
Namely the Duke...
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| ...coming into focus yet...? |
...I gave in and got my first Neca figure. I have plenty of Mezco produced action-figures, never opened any of those, but this Neca figure didn't last 5 minutes without my greasy mits tearing into it.
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| ...plenty nice write up... |
More where that beautiful idiocy came from.
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| Tee Hee |
I LIKE IT! (my only complaint is that I now spend hours under my work desk retrieving that 16mm cigar)
Now, let's recall where it all began.
If I say, "Remember the original Duke Nukem?", over half of the folks I'm asking instantly refer to Duke Nukem 3D, the first-person-shooter produced around 1996 .
Aww. No love for Apogee's 1991 PC platformer...? Crystal Caves? Secret Agent? Commander Keen?
If only the parents knew where this was going. Duke was always meant to have, what, attitude?
But heck, so does Sonic the Hedgehog.
I just don't see Sonic the Hedgehog smoking, womanizing and playing with poo in the dark future.
Anyways, the proof is in the pudding. And this is some seriously radio-active pudding. Neca have done well to capture the ludicrous beef-cake that is Duke Nukem.
Maybe too well...
Takin' a macro photograph of human skin is always disgusting, but one doesn't expect the same kinda' grotesque to be captured in toy form. The whole 'dark-wash on matte' effect kinda' worked out neat. There's also the nice random aspect to some of the detailing.
Unfortunately one of those 'random-aspects' wound up on Dukes top lip, making it appear as though he's caught a little Pig Cop intestine on his face during the heat of battle...
...or he's just really lazy at wiping his nose. I wouldn't put it past him.
He can do the whole dynamic pose shot. Basically though, your other action-figures will be privileged to recieve so much as a blase kick in the groin.
In aiming his weapon, he gives the impression he's not really paying close attention to where he's firing, which is probably about right with Duke. Considering Lady Luck is, well, a lady and all. Therefore putty in his hands (like all dames, right?).
Let's face it. The Duke figure is probably designed to sit around chomping stogies while the earth gets pulverized around him. Of course he is clutching a handgun in his downtime, but that's just Duke Nukem... he probably shaves with that thing.
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| 16mm of carcinogenic goodness... |
Mean.
C'mon, it ain' often you pick up an action-figure what smokes. That it is actually a removable accessory is not only hilarious, but hell for anybody who is tryin' to quit.
So, yeah. 3D Realms took their lil' side-scrollin' Apogee guy, gave him ceegars, sunnies and a penchant for the babes.
Gearbox Games took that guy and brought him into current 1st person gaming.
Finally Neca gives our evolved, some might say devovled, Duke the sculpted posey plastic treatment and voila! I'm a happier camper than before.
There are previous versions of Duke toys, plus some way funky extra-terrestrials in that line. Though I think this version of the Duke captures his 'bastardry' a little better.
Who knows, maybe one day we'll get to see a figure in his original 8-bit awesomeness.
Well, until they turn Commander Keen into a junky vampire...
..sigh, yep.
"If your picture is worth a thousand words, both could use a little improvement." - Rihia2k
