Cloud Master System ...

Oh Sega. Oh snap.
Well, the hey with doing anything productive when I slither home from work this week. When I'm in the grind I think of all the organizing, working on art, inspirational planning and 'deep and meaningfuls' I'll be having when I get through the door home. Shyeah right.
Robbed of sunny days, and 99% o' my functioning braincells, this week I thought I'd exhume the Master System.
Two games in particular sit in front o' the t.v. : Lemmings and Cloud Master. (The other shopping bag and box full sit in the cupboard, outta' sight outta' mind to avoid indecision)
Lemmings sits there more for my girlfriend, my attention span too short, my need for instant gratification too great.

Cloud Master, following the story of hermit meditator extraordinaire, Michael Chen. Who flings stuff at things, and gains power to fling more stuff at bigger things. Forever travelling right, as was the stock standard side-scrolling rule of 1987. Seeking the title of Cloud Master.
Heck, he can already ride a cloud, how much more mastering could possibly be required?
Well, much!

Mike knew he shoulda' caught the bus the second he was confronted with angry ramen.

First thing to be being a Cloud Master, apart from having red hair? Survive an onslaught of evil sky noodles.
Trying not to let the fact that stage 1's background is black & white drive you insane!

Snoring blood? Oh, it's red lightning ...  

Hello, Lightning Boy. Say, don't you have a future role in Puzzle Bobble? Maybe I just imagined that obscure trivia, hmm...
(actually it was 'Chariot' from Capcom's '3 Wonders'.)

See? Sega taught me good life lessons as a kid. DO NOT SUPPLY PIG WITH GUN, common sense really.

Referred to in the manual as 'Piggoid', ya gotta' love it. Why didn't this guy get his own game? Forget Psycho-Fox.

Question mark? Question mark!? But I know exactly what's behind the door. It's the shop! Everytime.

Beat the sub-bosses and they turn into magic item-shops. I wish everytime I won a dispute the other party turned into a magical floating doorway. Life would be easier.

Friendliest face of the whole game. Better yet, all stock free o charge.

Whichever power you choose, the shopkeep dame always replies, "ah, yes, a very good choice" (or summin'). But I gotta say some choices are better than others. She's just employing her customer service representative skills and telling me what I wanna' hear isn't she?

The only thing worse than a flying pigshead, is 5 flying pigsheads, red lightning, and a two-headed blue bugger.

And the fact Mike has his freakin' eyes closed!
Revoke that cloud licence someone.

Lookit that smug monkey nudist.

Wakey wakey, Mr. Chen, deadly phoenix attack.

I was a little surprised they didn't just use this phoenix for every level-end boss. It's a phoenix it woulda' been cheaper, and perfectly legit storytelling to bring it back infinitely until the player achieved the title of Arthritis-Master.

It's kinda' Donald Duck meets The Simpson's Kang, but this boss is referred to in the manual as a 'kappa'. Cool right there, kappas are an interesting piece of japanese folklore/mythology concerning characters that are basically amphibious vampires. Kicking round in bodies o' water, sneaking out to drink blood from livestock's bums, that sorta' nasty stuff. They supposedly have small indents in their heads full of water that, when spilled, causes them to die or retreat. Guess that explains Donald Kang's little hat.

Bitchin'.

John Belushi Nightshift Buddha ...

Ridin' a cloud ain't quick 'nuff for ya?

The end. Of this post at any rate. There's more levels to Mastering the Clouds but I'm sure you get the idea.
To fling stuff at things, to fling more stuff at bigger things. Forever travelling right, to close your eyes and achieve arthritis like that Master guy right there. To go to the dentist before work this morning. No really, jubilation on that one.

Cat ... crushing legs ... must finish post with ... quote ... um,

"Against a nation, or against a germ. There is no war won, but that the same is lost."

-Rihia2k