Sunday, February 26, 2012

Age Against The Machine...


"The great myths are intuitive. They contain poetic truths, whether told to amuse and delight or to convey the best science man knew in a pre-scientific age, as witness the Creation story in the Book of Genesis. In a mysterious universe, says Arnold Toynbee, man tries to express what he can of the ineffable. Human ideas and values have been shared by many cultures: the intangibles of beauty, hope, vision, and aspiration.
 Myths helped explain the natural world, the seasons, the weather, the heavens. They were often grounded in physical reality, though their imagination reached far beyond the boundaries of empirical experience. Religious myths were concerned with the meaning of life, the ways of men and the ways of the gods. Man sought to explain himself to himself. Mythology was used to inspire the young and teach them while they were being entertained.
 We of the twentieth century who profess to be civilized also need mythology, as the pantheon of show-business gods and goddesses reveals. In a mass culture we have comic strips, pop art, theatre of the absurd: rock-and-roll singers, movie magazines, the organization man, conspicuous consumption, and constant motion. In their mythology the Greeks rose above brutal aspects of their lives; our modern myths also bring dreams of a life that is glorious and fair, but in advertisements that worship youth, that tell us hard work has been abolished, that make us think we can take it with us.
 The Greeks made their gods in their own image and so do we, but ours are less heroic. They level us down to Mr. Average, and when someone speaks of a great society we are not sure what the term now means. Our gods are products of press-agentry; one is sadly let down when he meets an idol to find that the star is a marionette set in motion, even trained in conversation, by a company of managers. A central doctrine of Greek religion was: remember that you are mortal. Socrates' maxim, Know thyself, grew out of the same need for humility and honesty before oneself, and thus before all the world.
 Edith Hamilton says that mythologists transform a world of fear into a world of beauty. Perhaps it is in these ancient and not in our modern myths that we can contemplate how the human might become, in her words, supreme over the unhuman.
EARL TOPPINGS
Trade Editor,
The Ryerson Press"

 - From the 1965 introduction to The Age of Fable. Bulfinch's Mythology.


Once upon a time (at the fifteenth year of my existence) I was seduced / thrown / absconded from the grim steaming wreckage known as school, successfully bloodied and mangled, into the great wide world, and further study. Come the spare hours, more than I ever had in classrooms before, I took to reading mythology. Not just the classics, nor any preferred culture, rather, world mythology. Like a person with 48 toasters on the go at once, I was all over the show in the kitchen of ancient tales. From Izanagi and Izanami to Nut and Tefnut. Anansi to Tangaroa. Tyr to Daruma.
 And it was good. For clearing the psyche-sinuses, and simply for a deeper awareness of how archaic human tales the world over have correlated, whether evaluating the repercussions of unchecked actions, or explaining common human weakness, and uncommon human strength. Emotion. Nature. Death. Sex. Birth. Heroism. Love. Animals. Afterlives and underworlds.

 Anyhow, once upon another time, (tick off 4 years) I'm page flicking on a lazy day through one A-Z of Mythology or another. A young woman in the crappy apartment I shared, also in the living room, doing pie. Taking a moment out from the pie seeking asylum in her face (pie was always doing this), she asked me, "Do you believe in that?"
(pause) (blink) (pause)
My book said MYTH on the cover. 4 bold letters. One word.
Hmm, 'yes or no' question, though I believe my answer contained an attempted explanation about how mythology in itself is not a religion but a study. My answer probably contained a few swallowed swear words of shock also. Perhaps pie was playing goalie to the puck of my words, cos I don't think a cog moved 1 millimetre in her head. Apparently this was also a good time for her to mention she was a christian. First I'd heard or seen of that. Wait - I see. Convenience Christian. How deeply original.
Then again, I'm talking about a lady that picked up a National Front racist propaganda pamphlet (one page, A5) and within two minutes was convinced they might have had a fair point, and that it could be worth looking into. The pamphlet ended in a rant about how whites should only eat 'white food'.
(pause) (blink) (pause)
I fail to recall if her Fijian friend was living with her at this point. Here's to a future of potatoes.

Whoops, back to what I was on about, not The Idiots of Christmas Past.
 Myth. The introduction to Bulfinch's Age of Fable I shared was written 1965, and although it's getting fifty on, I still found it interesting to wonder what myth means today.
 While science has allowed for the analysis, breakdown, manipulation and comprehension of many elements of our universe, people can't escape layering imagination and projecting onto the face of the awesome. It's been said, but plenty, across the board that pop culture and comic books are the mythology of our time. Comic books - modern mythology... meh, I wave my hand somewhere round the middle of my chest at that idea now, with an expression of colon backslash. I've long been into reading both, and I reached that conclusion alone a time ago. Now I think comic books, pulp etc. are only covering a small portion of what the term modern mythology might really mean. Compared to the function served by tales of our ancient selves, the majority of popular comics might give an internalized 'feast for thought' on things like morality, relationships, sacrifice and no short stack of concepts surrounding life and death, to dwell on where our actions in the world are concerned.
 Is anything missing? Belief? Ritual? Ceremony? Reverence? Motive? Like, I say, the open hand waves palm down at chest height. Could it be argued that a child's belief in Superman could shape a direction later in life? Ancient religions belief systems didn't rely solely on children, though. Who believes when they meet a playboy millionare named Bruce that he's a double-life vigilante, the way one might believe a mysterious traveler to be Odin come earthward? Who believes that the girl, Kitty, they met on a bus to Massachusetts is a member of a mutant organization, the way one might believe the muse Calliope inspired Homer's work? We also know the authors of our modern tales, and even if they do make bedfellow a muse of their own, the stories don't always have the added wonder of flourishing into existence before the dawn of life as we know it.

 Comics, and their screen adaptions may not give us many genuine new bumps in the night, but there's zero percent mystery in that they draw from the veins of myth, fable, and legend with less restraint than starving mosquitoes. It's nice to consider a reader being sucked deeper into the history of some character immortalized by an epic poem or vase painting. It's just a bummer when a complex, many faceted character capable of stimulating the ole noggin, winds up as little more than primary colour underwear, muscles, and bad one-liners.
Coloured tights aside, DC's Beowulf came to mind. Sssh, I'll still happily read it...



I'm mean, for picking on Beowulf, I know, but I was gettin' image withdrawals. It's just that Beowulf is up against Satan every issue here. Satan + Beowulf? That's as illogical as Brigitte Nielsen and Flava Flav. (you're not getting a picture of that)

 Further gripes are about to spill from the satchel now, consider yourself warned.
First up, it isn't common knowledge that Heracles (Hercules, Herakles, Iocles), call him what ya will, frequently had a young male lover in tow, as well as being inclined 1/2 the time to bust crap up and go on the odd rampage bender. Spoiler alert: he died. In bed. Agonized. From shirt poisoning. Really.
Makes perfect sense. A rough and tumble demigod, dual natured, and like a load of Greeks of that era, mature and honest about his sexuality. Okay, okay, I don't really expect Kevin Sorbo to revive his role, go off his tree and start smacking innocents about, arm around Iolaus the whole time.
 Still a shame that's it's simply not an option. By which I mean, common modern audiences wouldn't deal well with the concepts, let alone any visual depictions, of such antics from what folks imagine a predetermined clear cut hero.
Has me wondering how much your standard '300' fan knows about Spartan relationships.



 Hang about, look at any old myth, pulling no punches, yet not fixating unnecessarily on the ugly & offbeat facts of life. Used t' be, folks could just get on with it, throwing the mean-ass story curve-balls. Can't be we've come so far just to close every mind and draw straight lines.
Black and white t.v.
Baby, what they could've done with CGI in the sixties, make the Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus look like the 6 o' clock news.

 Hey, look, someone left some more bitching-on in my pocket! No, I'll spare you the mishandling of Ahura Mazda in the Wishmaster films, or any easy pick from the endless bouquet of bastardized deities incorporated into the horror movie genre.

Modern mythology? Sorry, there was even a subject on this blog today? Current Vampire and Zombie trends seem pretty firmly established in our collective minds and I've always maintained that a deity is as strong as any life, or lives, it directly affects. Perhaps no less real than the result of the actions inspired by it's existence. As for the tale-tellers?
Ut oh... Mr. George Lucas' Star Wars.
Modern mythology - Star Wars. Those 4 words just opened a whole new barrel of Gungan fish snacks, which I'm briskly walking away from and leaving in your capable hands. Any kinda' purpose serving essay this ain't, but while I'm at it... er, fine... uh, we'll say Neil Gaiman, for example, can stay and not be abducted by UFOs then. Not sure about everybody else...

 Is it assumed every step taken by a sprawling, impersonal society aims forward? Do the majority want to be their own heroes / idols or are we content to simply look like them now? Watching in admiration as our ideal characters go against the grain, fight odds stacked against them. But when most of us break from that screen, drop those pages again, you'll find we are the grain, the odds against. Traitors, turncoats to our favourite version of ourselves.
 Robot ethics are figured out for us, the works already done there. Soul and mind feng shui? Buy it off, distract it, decieve it when it calls. Intelligence is in, wisdom is out. Anybody else's obvious need for ritual or sacred respect is a vulnerability which may be whittled down to a trivial quirk, while judgement is passed on what we remain ignorant about and have no intention of understanding. An age where arrogance and vanity needn't be checked, but encouraged, we've told ourselves it's okay, because it keeps the wheels greased.

 More minds on earth than ever before, and we've never been more afraid to speak.

It's all a bit Yeats, really. Tread softly because you tread on my dreams... and then sit your fat ass on my dreams and don't notice, accidentally spill blue slushee all over my dreams, provide an apology that in truth is more of an irritating whine, and then deliberately wipe chicken fat on them anyway.


"The watch shows us time. The time shows us, watch." - Rihia2k

(reason #209 why I'm no rapper)

Friday, February 24, 2012

It's Sensational, It's Superb... It's Specdracula?...


Ha Spec-dracula! Geddit?
Bwahahahahaha! I'm laughing like a fat, bald, hammer wielding man outta' Golden Axe.
-ahem- yesss.
Spec-dracula.
So, there I am stopped in Peak Hill. I've seen a gang of turkeys and a middle aged woman dressed as a clown. I probably want coffee, been driving, it's hot. Despite the underwhelming general store, I did just see a turkey making a break for it. I did jus' see a real to goodness clown with an empty table and a soda, plus a profoundly unhappy expression (beneath the make-up). What mores a guy desire?

Guy desires comics. Well he does now because he just saw a book store...

Dracula as he should and does appear in Dracula Lives! No.4

So I do my perusing, skipping the Frew Phantoms (a thing o' the past for I), and dive into the dusty box of horror mags. On my best behaviour I just settle for the Dracula Lives! and the Vampirella mag.

Dracula Lives, and is also Lord of the Undead - there's a conflict of interests!

There were a bundle of the not-quite-Warren knock-off mags too. Y'know the ones with titles like Horror Encounters, Pit of Hell, Tomb of Evil, Nostril of Madness, Thing of Stuff etc, etc. Which I admit I dig, but have plenty of back home.

Happy with aforementioned acquisitions, arrivederci. But hold, what's this?...


Well... it's Dracula... again... but, but - purple tights? Let's see, "Dracula Finds His Specialty" (and it ain't in his dress sense or name selection) Sumthin' not quite right...

Al U. Card, oh ho I geddit. (and it hurts) U for Ulysses. Crucial info that!

Aw, Sweet Monkey Sputum! My blinking Dracula! He's wearing a blue business suit and fretting over the life of a human being! Did I walk in halfway through here? Let's recap...

"Dracula using the assumed name Al U. (for Ulysses) Card, has come to the United States. The family name he wishes to clear of the false legend which surrounds it is little know here. In his homeland tyranny prevails. Perhaps here, he hopes, he can find the peace he seeks to put his new found powers to work... to work for peace of all men."

Aha! So clearly not Vlad the Impaler we are familiar with. Rather a descendant from the Dracula line who wishes to clear the family name. Fair enough that... but did it mention the name is "little known here"? Here being the U.S.A.?

Dracula, outsmarted by B.B. Beebe.

The name Dracula. Unknown. Here. U.S.A. 1973. I got two words for ya...
...Bramstokerbelalugosichristopherleejohncarradinehammerhorrorlonchaneyjr... wait...

B.B. Beebe? -kinda name izzat?!
 
"Quick guano break methinks, not suspicious at all in daytime"


Say, I read -"Put his new found powers to work for peace of all men"

Gets mentioned in this mag, by Al himself, that he essentially possesses no powers outside of becoming a huge bat from time to time, and even this Mr. Card is only capable of when he's knocked back some vial of generic geneticist-juice. In fact his overall goal for half o' this comic is to create a brew enabling this metamorphosis to be brought on at will any time.

Peace of all men - Bat transformation juice - same thing.

Well, it's no Weta Workshop.
"No dedicated protector of justice could ask for more..." Except perhaps shoes.


Well. It's one of those days Drac.
B.B. Beebe is at risk of drowning... slowly... to death... in her van, but you're such a good man you don't want to inconsiderately wreck her half submerged vehicle and make her upset, do you? How conscientious, there's a moral dilemma everywhere these heroes turn.
Maybe if B.B. winds the window down, hands Drac the keys, winds the window up, undoes her seat belt and puts on the wipers, he'll be able to get her out of there without getting his socks wet.

Un-B.B.-Beebe-lievable. Rrowrrr, bad kitty!
10000 pts for obscurity if my girlfriend and I cosplay like this I reckon...

Sigh, spoiler alert: she didn't listen. Dracula insists crankily that B.B. leave him to his work. By work we mean perfecting more serum. Which will save the world by giving everyone the option of turning into a bat at will...? It's not specified . Good-O. But this is fated never to occur, rather fate will give us - Fleeta.
That's right, creeps! Fleeta.
Our zany B.B. rushes in, just up and gulps the last of the mixture and poof! she's blue clad. With bat options to boot. Fleeta, she derives from the German word fledermaus, for bat.
Mmm, cute. Beats Al U. Card. Tho in staying a-tune with the rest of the strip, Fleeta's name oughta' have incorporated the four B's in her name.
Buxom blonde big bat? Blue bottom bunk bat?  

Though before you worry that Dell comiks stopped by merely 'improving' our dear Dracula...
We get a one panel plug of some other vaguely familiar sounding hero out there in the U.S.A. of 1973 -

It's not easy being green, even harder when yer arms don't match.

Right. Quick. Top o' yer head. Gimme three words to describe Mary Shelley's most horrific and popular character creation. Um... maybe - World's. Strongest. Hero.
Egads! Not only has he been re-imagined as an eloquent, humane Dolph Lundgren with green face paint, but 'ere Dell've performed that most diddle shriveling act of ignorance ever to befall our favourite re-animated corpse - referring to him as Frankenstein.
Sigh, it's Frankenstein's Monster, Dell. Monster.

(I'm choosing to ignore the fact DC comics has the same thing in current publications, because I'm picking exclusively on Dell and the year of 1973 here)

So while Dell borrowed at least two Universal Monsters in '73 and revamped them. (ha revamped)
Dracula - with purple tights and bat fetish, no dark past or penchant for blood smoothies.
Frankenstein - kindly strongman with permanent avocado morning mask.

It's natural to wonder, who else did they bite on the bum and infect with ludicrous goodness?

Perhaps, Olaf Wolf-man, a full bearded mountaineer with the ability to persuade dogs to pick up after themselves.
Or, Joe Mummy, former racing car driver with the ability to turn invisible between 6:00pm and 11:30pm.

It only makes sense.


"Sure I'll put a sock in it, but mine're full of holes anyways"- Rihia2k

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Bats amore...

Wherever you go there you are.
Must say, it's been beautiful on the way. However, I'm off the road again, and as temporarily settled as I ever get.
A stimulating and eventful drive from Kangaroo Island, South Australia, to Brisbane, Queensland (the real one) is done.

Virtual Queensland, and coincidentally one I've frequented since living in Brisbane.

Hmm, Sega Saturn's Mistaria that, but would the real Queensland please stand up?

After ten or so days on the Eden of Kangaroo Island, literally losin' count, and more or less deliberately forgettin' what day of the week it was, just spent a few weeks dawdling, driving, and camping in a vague Queensland like direction. Change is, of course, relatively gradual interstate, but then you slide Adelaide and Brisbane up against each other and the difference is crystal.
ie, breathing moisture instead of dust.

These days geckos replace millipedes as wall adorners, its thunderstorms, lush hills, greenery scenery, skywater (oh, lots of skywater)... and bats. Big, bad-ass, brilliant bats!
Previous bat encounters in other states had only been peripheral squeak streaks.
After a coupla' nights discovering Toowoomba (4 metres at a time, due to downpours), finally hit the Brissy of it all and camped out in the suburb of Ipswich... locally pronounced Eepsweech (shudder).

You know I'm all about the critters, so it was a great night, up late just getting spoiled with dusk and nocturnal animal eye-candy, possums audibly munching leftover carrot tops, low flying fruit bats bending branches and chattering in 'gremlinese', bush turkeys having a corroboree with my girlfriend when I'm not around then disappearing when I get back. Good times, good times...

... the frick is?...

Appaaarently... it's a Red Triangle Slug. That only serves t' remind me of The Penguin's gang from Batman Returns. It don't tell me why there's a bright ruddy tri-piece about it's pneumostome... I felt somewhat uneasy waiting for it to shoot rohypnol up my nostril and then lay Ridley Scott's baby in my face but that didn't happen... it just breathed at me. Unlike the mummified toad I found in the brick basement I'm renting. As for New Zealand slugs... grey, and eraser size would be considered big.

Aaand it's back to the N of Z for an entire ten days come next Thursday. Whanau, friends, weddings and parents await. Not that this kiwi ever needs an excuse to fly.

OooOoo ... toil and trouble ... OooOOoo


"Beware the promising new path, so often it may lead to the old road" - Rihia2k

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Ohmigod! They've Xain'd Sleena...

Ohh.. never mind, old news, that happened way back in '86.
Yes, Xain'd Sleena. Up there in the lists of unusal game names I gotsta say.
I used to pop a few creds into this game down at the local swimmin' pool complex as a youth.
I went there 75% to swim, 25% to get my Sleena Xain'd.


I never forgot 'bout this game, but I sure as hell forgot the title.
 In fact the more I think of the title, the stranger it becomes - Who or what is a Sleena? Why is it getting Xain'd? Also considering the main character is actually named Xain, is it a noun or a verb?


 Well the people funding Xains mission don't give a turnip's eye about grammar - Defend of all planets? That could prove nonsensically impossible
 Xainy-poo is cooler lookin' than Master Chief in my opinion, boy did I love this game, boy did I suck at it.


I'm saving up for one o' these.
 Further questions on the title come to mind;
If I tell my boss I got a Xain'd Sleena, and it'll be that way for weeks, can I get off work?
Why is the only anagram I can make from this title - 'Sex Alien DNA'?


Mmm...Cleemalt... thirsty now.
 Choices rule the den. A lot o' games from this era only gave you one choice at the beginning of the game - like save yer girlfriend or avenge ya family - but there's only so many families you can avenge, or girlfriends you can save (trust me).
XS gives 5 starting planet choices with funky names all followed by SOA. 'Save Our Asses' or just more Sleenese? Your call...


 "The viewing platform... just keep walking right you say?"
Welcome to Cleemalt, take in the stunning view of our ringed satellite, and later, be sure to sample our range of locally produced fine Cleemalt-whiskey.


"Ooh, complimentary P.
Lush, tropical Lagto provides free parking outside any of our multi-level rustic malls, our friendly grenade lobbing staff are happy to assist. Please wipe your shoes, insect repellant not provided.




"I don't like Cleedos it's course and rough and irritating... and it gets everywhere... not like you."
 When on sunny Cleedos check out our twenty-four hour  cosplay experience. Now with extra moons! Moisture farmer subsidy cards accepted.


"Under da sea!... doo doo doo dee, Under da sea!..."
 Kworal is galaxy famous for it's fresh and dangerous seafood, from giant-clam-burgers to psychotic-leviathan-fritters, dine in, take-away, or fry your own right here above the magnificent Kworal reef.




"Aaand action!"
 Guwld has it all! Live like the rich and famous! Re-enact your favourite scenes from Star Wars, The Golden Child, The Dark Cauldron and Some Like It Hot. Remember bring plenty of sun tan lotion.
NB: No food or beverages permitted on Guwld.

So concludes today's rather brief tour - XS is simple, sure it's no Little Big Planet, but my nostalgia for the game is associated with top summer memories, and heck, you could double jump, not only crouch but lie down and shoot, all after choosing from any one of five off world locations. Who could demand more?

(well, you do get to fly Xain's, ship but that's a surprise)


Sneak peak screenshots, too much multitasking for me. What with playing Xain'd Sleena, listening to Jarvis Cocker on BBC6, trying to get muesli from my teeth, repositioning a plastic Xenomorph in accordance with the laws of feng shui...
times are tough, huh.

"If things are looking up, no need to stop climbing" - Rihia2k
(aww, make up yer own quote, wontcha?)

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