Kalibaks and Dinosaurs...

Well now. Quite... rather.
Went to a car-boot sale on Sunday. Always good, if no real intention of buying anything in particular. First one I'd been to in this area, always worth gettin' to know the local vibe.
I went to a Saturday morning market a year or so back (closer to Wellington city) with the sole purpose of satiating my desire for courgettes. From the other side o' the market grounds I swear I 'sniffed' out a somewhat tasty Reggie Entertainment Console / famiclone game (which probably means nothing to you). Bought that for a song and virtually ran all the way home, though I regret to say no one was selling any zucchinis that day. But that's another post altogether.

Kalibak.

Who's your deity?

It's nice what 50c will get you some mornings. I'll be honest and say I have a pretty fast eye for scanning piles of 'worthless' plastic. Bypassing fast food toy bunk, or more modern dime a dozen figures, I seem t' have an instinctive radar for anything that belongs to an age where I may've played or grown up with it. And this pile was large and ugly. But c'mon,  Kalibak, I'd recognize that beard anywhere. Honestly it took a whole 0.5 seconds instead of the usual 0.2 to determine this was a Super Powers 1985 DC action figure, it was one I never actually saw first hand as a kid though.

Is this the "I secretly have feelings for Daddy-Darkseid" face?

Aww, lookit dat. Is this really that same brutal, destructive son of Darkseid's that Jack Kirby created in '71?
Guess he has a coupla' alternate costumes throughout the years, and I personally find it quite interesting to note how feral or 'civilized' he's been portrayed as by varying artists. This '85 figure isn't very Kirby-esque when compared with modern design sculpts, but he does have a kinda' rocky/chunky abdomen which could be a tip o' the hat to Jack-styles.

Gwaar!

And anyhoo... dinosaurs. Definitely Dinosaurs.
I really shoulda' quit with just the Super Power fig, gotten a vegetable or ten and headed off for home. But...

"I don't think so, she's ugging at me!"

Definitely Dinosaurs. 1987 Playskool. Does anybody else even remember these? Don't answer, you'll scare yerself if you do. I have an incredible memory... for CRAP! Can I remember how to find inner-peace? No. Can I remember where I left the keys 5 minutes ago? No. Can I remember obscure video games, comic books and Definitely Dinosaurs? You bet your a$$! My best bud as a kid had one. One. And someway they basically jumped outta' the bin at the sale and tried to claw my eyes out chanting, "we're from the eighties like you, you can't leave us now... gooble garble, gooble garble, one of us, one of us." I scare me...

-"Ey!"
-"Ey!"
-"Ey!"
-"I am so gone, guys..."

...but I don't scare me as much as these do. Muscle-baby dwarf, cave-people that remind me of those low-budget Italian sword and sandals flicks from the day. I think the fact that there's only 1 female amongst the four is a worry too. Basically I can't picture these guys saying anything but "Ey" like some kinda' primitive Fonz, hanging around the meat-bar, showing off their V8 pterodactyls to Smurfette over there. Uh oh...

Hearts are gonna' break in the Stone Age tonight.

 I think it was the Paleolithic-perm that did it!

But after all that I got what I needed...

Limited edition 1 of 1. Fully poseable in ma belly once grilled.

Courgette I love you, don't ever change.

"Ask yourself, working to live or living to work? And which would satisfy you more?" -Rihia2k.
(yawn)

Cloud Master System ...

Oh Sega. Oh snap.
Well, the hey with doing anything productive when I slither home from work this week. When I'm in the grind I think of all the organizing, working on art, inspirational planning and 'deep and meaningfuls' I'll be having when I get through the door home. Shyeah right.
Robbed of sunny days, and 99% o' my functioning braincells, this week I thought I'd exhume the Master System.
Two games in particular sit in front o' the t.v. : Lemmings and Cloud Master. (The other shopping bag and box full sit in the cupboard, outta' sight outta' mind to avoid indecision)
Lemmings sits there more for my girlfriend, my attention span too short, my need for instant gratification too great.

Cloud Master, following the story of hermit meditator extraordinaire, Michael Chen. Who flings stuff at things, and gains power to fling more stuff at bigger things. Forever travelling right, as was the stock standard side-scrolling rule of 1987. Seeking the title of Cloud Master.
Heck, he can already ride a cloud, how much more mastering could possibly be required?
Well, much!

Mike knew he shoulda' caught the bus the second he was confronted with angry ramen.

First thing to be being a Cloud Master, apart from having red hair? Survive an onslaught of evil sky noodles.
Trying not to let the fact that stage 1's background is black & white drive you insane!

Snoring blood? Oh, it's red lightning ...  

Hello, Lightning Boy. Say, don't you have a future role in Puzzle Bobble? Maybe I just imagined that obscure trivia, hmm...
(actually it was 'Chariot' from Capcom's '3 Wonders'.)

See? Sega taught me good life lessons as a kid. DO NOT SUPPLY PIG WITH GUN, common sense really.

Referred to in the manual as 'Piggoid', ya gotta' love it. Why didn't this guy get his own game? Forget Psycho-Fox.

Question mark? Question mark!? But I know exactly what's behind the door. It's the shop! Everytime.

Beat the sub-bosses and they turn into magic item-shops. I wish everytime I won a dispute the other party turned into a magical floating doorway. Life would be easier.

Friendliest face of the whole game. Better yet, all stock free o charge.

Whichever power you choose, the shopkeep dame always replies, "ah, yes, a very good choice" (or summin'). But I gotta say some choices are better than others. She's just employing her customer service representative skills and telling me what I wanna' hear isn't she?

The only thing worse than a flying pigshead, is 5 flying pigsheads, red lightning, and a two-headed blue bugger.

And the fact Mike has his freakin' eyes closed!
Revoke that cloud licence someone.

Lookit that smug monkey nudist.

Wakey wakey, Mr. Chen, deadly phoenix attack.

I was a little surprised they didn't just use this phoenix for every level-end boss. It's a phoenix it woulda' been cheaper, and perfectly legit storytelling to bring it back infinitely until the player achieved the title of Arthritis-Master.

It's kinda' Donald Duck meets The Simpson's Kang, but this boss is referred to in the manual as a 'kappa'. Cool right there, kappas are an interesting piece of japanese folklore/mythology concerning characters that are basically amphibious vampires. Kicking round in bodies o' water, sneaking out to drink blood from livestock's bums, that sorta' nasty stuff. They supposedly have small indents in their heads full of water that, when spilled, causes them to die or retreat. Guess that explains Donald Kang's little hat.

Bitchin'.

John Belushi Nightshift Buddha ...

Ridin' a cloud ain't quick 'nuff for ya?

The end. Of this post at any rate. There's more levels to Mastering the Clouds but I'm sure you get the idea.
To fling stuff at things, to fling more stuff at bigger things. Forever travelling right, to close your eyes and achieve arthritis like that Master guy right there. To go to the dentist before work this morning. No really, jubilation on that one.

Cat ... crushing legs ... must finish post with ... quote ... um,

"Against a nation, or against a germ. There is no war won, but that the same is lost."

-Rihia2k

This life is a car trip ...

Yes, a while since my last post. So concerned you were, I can tell. And on the subject of concern:-

New Zealand (fear not it's still here). Small as it is, the country hasn't blown itself off of the world map.

....

Thought I'd spong on (spong?) during this entry about my country's quaintness & quietness.

Let's start real simple like. New Zealand or Aotearoa (Land of the Long White Cloud) is situated in the southern hemisphere. Yeah, we is not all that far from Antarctica.

It consists of two main islands, excitingly named North Island & South Island in english. Or in maori: Te Ika A Maui (The Fish of Maui) & Te Waka A Maui (The Canoe of Maui).

Maui is by the way, one particularly kick-ass trickster demigod, and one of the all-time most entertaining characters from oceanic mythology. Research that jazz, baby. But I am bias.

Back to my point: this country is, what 1600 kilometres north n' south? But what I really dig is that east and west coasts are 200 km or so apart (as the crow flies) on average. Give or take depending, but it means ocean sunrises and sunsets aren't exactly hard t' find.

That was some very Han Solo geography btw, Googlemap it in case I navigate you to Mordor.

Population time, Nien Nunb: 4,382,196.

And most o' these are packed together, moths to the light of city living. Safety, opportunity, entertainment, and industry in numbers, sure. But what I really don't understand are those that have a 0.1% interest in getting outta' the city. I've met many over time, and it's a shame to think they won't suffer the necessary billboard withdrawals and no-neon-shakes to see what the stars really look like with no light pollution.

But then again... that means one don' gotta get far to have the whole beach to oneself.

So took a brief drive round earlier this year... might 's well share some of the generic, less personal photos...

Ah, Bulls. Yes the wee town of Bulls. Located on the lower west of the North Island. I hadn't been here for a time. Once was a few signs up that ended in '-bull'. Now they're e'erywhere. Mebbe time to reign this pun in.

Wanganui. (spelt Whanganui due to recent name change). I gotsa real love for this place. Not too large, not too small (okay, pretty small by most folks standards). But hey, kick yer fancy jandals off and let ya bad haircut down, yer on the west coast now, baby. Cas-u-al. Yup, cemetary is pretty casual too.

It's nice to be different.

Below: this vege store has been exactly the same for thirty years.
I think they touched up the paint on the banana, but apart from that... Oh-riginal fruitsta. Deserves more tweets than Master Bieber. And you'll probably need to be over thirty or have my kinda memory to get the television reference they're making with 'Hill St. Greens' .... ha, Hill Street Greens .... it is to laugh (everytime). And as you can see it's rush hour ...

 
 If you can be bothered fighting through the crowds pictured below, and you're not too depressed about spending that whole .90 cents on copious amounts o' bananas n' peaches. You might even make it to the sunset...

"There's a feeling I get when I look to the west"-

Though I think you could safely attribute that feeling to the fact I grew up on this street.
It's incredible how little it's changed since the eighties. I can nearly see myself running down to the corner to buy my daily fix of GIJoe bubblegum cards. And getting my first bee sting...



Yes, sir. West is west. In little old Castlecliff beach, Wanganui, New Zealand. Darn crowds.

Yep, those're mine and m' girlfriends footprints, competing with our other pair of footprints. It's a two horse race...

 

Alright, on the road again, troubled by horrific scenes like this ... 

knew I shoulda stayed in my smelly capital city...



Aww, just geese. They won't hurt you.



Aah, tha's just an alpaca, nothing to be afraid of...

See this? This is a Killkill. Frickin' run.
Killkill, as it cutely informs you it's called ("Killkill Killkill"), builds up your confidence by paying a shy interest in your breadcrumbs and convincing you chooks are nothing to fear.

 And Bam! once your guard is down, they start coming outta' the woodwork. This is a very small portion of the actually alarming amount of chickens that marauded our campsite outside of Taupo. (central North Island, famous for it's lake, popular tourist and chicken victim spot).

These crazy birds even try to eat themselves.

But yes, be vigilant. My girl still bears a faint scar from a psychotic Killkill leaping onto her hot bowl of noodles and pouring them down her leg when my back was turned. I'll never forget that scream...

This kind of trauma could only be remedied by heading east ... to Havelock North, Hawkes Bay. Remedied by freshly picked strawberries. Remedied by a state of the art, talking public toilet that plays "What the world needs now" and threatens you with t-minus 10 minutes 'til it opens it's doors and reveals you defecating to the public. Mmm... strawberries.

Mmm... Lord Of The Ringsy flavour...

 And this, mon ami, is Waimarama. One tres beau eastern point of the North Island! You really cannot go wrong to be here. One o' those first places to see the sun, and you can just feel it had no-one even toldja'.

 

And that's that, slightly up the west coast and back down the east in a tiny circle. No real stressing for time necessary, coupla' days and back to work with a world full o' chill factor and a new perspective on whatever tired ole street you grind in.

Just a coupla' pics from two more little settlements on the drive home. "Welcome to Waipawa."
Nope seriously, they won't miss you if ya jurst keep drivin' on...

 Aww, see, Waipawa? even Masterton, which ain't exactly mighty, saw fit to have a bug mosaic... as opposed to a crushed cockroach under a plastic sign.

Well, folks. Welcome to North Island New Zealand.

"Those that dare to conform can be those who bring the most original ideas to fruition"
(basically ignore that, just wanted to use 'dare to conform' in a sentence)
- Rihia2k.

In the land o' the blind, the red-eyed man is king...

Ah, 1989, Mirage Studios, Playmates Toys.
Fine words to see printed between the shoulder blades of any action figure. In particular - The Rat King.

I was still in primary school when the TMNT craze hit all kid's parents where it counts. Apart from the turtles themselves, I watched the characters on the show before encountering their poseable plastic parallels in stores. Like lots o' children I'd flex the most respex at Casey Jones, and when role playing as our heroes in the schoolyard, if I couldn't be the cool talking vigilante I'd get my way as the next best thing. Rat. King.

Check it. He ain't half dull. Good posture, toned build, appears astute, swish hair, clean teeth. A king (albeit a king o' rats), and yeah he was a 'baddie' but not so absolute a villain as Krang or Shredder, huh? He was even sensitive about April O'Neil. hmm sensitive...? So Go-Figure...

Oh sweet insane asylum! You've really let yourself go, Mr. King. Um... I don't wanna pretend to be him anymore. Seems he's even gone as far as to contract an otitis-interna/ inner ear head tilt (quite common in rats). Maybe I should've equipped him with an otoscope and iodine instead of Casey's baseball bats? One shouldn't judge others on their appearance of course... but a nine year old can be forgiven, non? Yes, sir. I've always ackowledged how spoilt we are in the western world, grateful, love the toy, but...

My go-!, um... awkward. Didn't know one o' my favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle dudes was undergoing chemotherapy. That sucks! But when living in a sewer reputed to have a high count of mutagen and toxic waste one has to expect misfortune (and slim chances with April who's on a reporters salary).
Say, do you think we should bother to tell him he has a huge fuck off spider on his head?

Really though, most late '80s TMNT figures were well crafted, dynamic sculpts. With enough poseability to keep the mitts entertained, but not so many joints that they became floppy ragdoll material with time. Churr-yup, they and their paintjobs last well with minimal care. So get well soon, have a cider and some light reading, Rat-King, ya've earned it. 

"Life's like pizza, best bits the start n' middle, then ya just end up with crust" - Rihia2k

(yeesh, so deep dish, huh?)

We waste no part of the Eskimo ...

What some folk won't do to get in the news.

Earlier this year, in Good ol' New Zealand, a lady went to the media to "complain" that she'd purchased a tin of Budget brand pears only to find shock horror, that one of these hard earned fruit slices was engraved with a 'demonic' picture perfect smiley-face.

Oh,  the humanity! Oh the mental anguish! Oh the ... hmm, free pears I'm sensing ...

So sure enough this dame wound up with pears out her ears as compensation, a spot on the national news, and a piece of fruit that smiles. But no satisfaction of ever catching the tinning terrorist, the grocery guerilla that was responsible for the deed.

I don't scour the fruit-graffitti section of the newspaper frequently enough to have actually read about it at the time, oh no the article was brought to my attention later ...

Flashing back: Shoppin' done, I'm leaving the supermarket with my girlfriend, we've both had our days fill o' work & maturity, and need instant gratification. So she's driving the car getting hand fed lollies (sweets, candy or what you will). But shock horror -

Now New Zealand, with it's tiny island complex, has something of an identity crisis, this country needs to lay claim to anything it can. Fush & chups (thats ours), beer & barbecues (only us), utes & gumboots (back off there) and our confectionary views are no different. Most folks parents and grandparents will remember the lollies that define us as a nation:-

*milk bottles

*wine gums

*jet planes

* ahem... eskimo lollies
Yup, I'm sure the diabetics of earth are perfectly happy with their twinkies and tea cakes, but these are our exclusively kiwi treats (we tell ourselves ... on television).

Do NOT attempt to feed one of these to your girlfriend while she is driving. She WILL laugh.

You WILL crash, it is NOT a smiley face.

What part of the eskimo is this?



So it sure didn't turn out looking like these... medieval sarcophagi, powdery marshmallow thangs. And okay, I'm willing to accept that it may have been a robo-sculpting glitch rather than a spotty, underpaid 17yr old employee messing with the mould. But seriously, Pascall's is one o' NZ's most successful confectionary companies, big time. You think they'd pay a bouncer to stand at the production line, ensuring that when my eyesight fails me I don't end up putting one of these on my daughters birthday cake.

Furthermore, Pascall's current prime time t.v. advertising slogan is "Lollies for grown-ups". Indeed 'cos if I was eight I woulda' just et the darn thing and carried on.

Finally, I'll apologise for referring to that lolly earlier as a midget eskimo. But the correct term: inuit small person lolly, doesn't seem to market so well. Also if you act too p.c. around these parts people get suspicious, and you wake up assaulted by homophobes.

"Dreams are free, until you decide to follow them" - Rihia2k

Find evil-pear at: http://www.stuff.co.nz/oddstuff/3674491/Freakish-find-in-can-shocks-Southland-woman

To Boldly Go Figure ...

Well, hey there.

Welcome to Go-Figure blog (you poor thing). Guess the "one blog fits all" description in the title could be a leetle bit of a stretch.
True, this blog probably won't fit you if you were looking into high-altitude knitting, street level skydiving, or illegal cock fighting. (in which case I apologise for your being confronted by plastic cave people instead)
Alt+left while you still can.

However if you occasionally peruse the net (sans direction), and like reading the odd bit about ol' comics, video games and action figures:
"Welcome welcome".
We also deal in art & jus' thinking (with no risk of doing anything productive).

Considering this is the first post here I don't intend to ruin it with any theme other than an intro.

So here's Aubrey Beardsley's  The Toilette of Salome, super-imposed over a pumpkin.

Bueno bueno,
Rihia2k ~~

"Those who cannot suffer a fool, are the greatest fools of all"- Rihia2k

(yeah, I made that up in the 4 minutes it took to make this pointless image)

KA KITE ANO.