Saturday, March 23, 2013

I'm Gonna' Generically Ninja This...

... Meanwhile ...

http://vintageninja.net/

Without heading into my life story, I once  had a 'bad Chap Mei experience'.
That might sound like something initiated at a restaurant, resulting in messy gastro issues, and a week off of work, but Chap Mei is actually a toy company. They're rather popular in their own way nowadays. My first experience, however, left a sour taste in my mouth...

... basically a packet o' cheap 'Police' Action Figures I acquired. For animation purposes;
- We're talking oversized pistols (from entirely different scales).
- Brittle hands that snap to pieces after a second's interaction.
- Flaking paint jobs applied with all the finesse of a vibrating ketchup bottle.

Stop-frame animation wise, they proved about as practical as a cellophane nightshirt.
Truth be told these may not have been Chap Mei figures but I made an association.
So, grudge holder that I am, I figured Chap Mei, Chap Mei, never no more.

Until... 5 years on...
Chap Mei wants to make a liar outta' me.
Of course that only requires a 5" ninja with an alternate animal head - and I'm sold.

...TRY ME. JUST TRY ME...
Labelled as 'Ninja Curse' on the internet, on my receipt, & on the shelf. Labelled as 'Ninja Curse' nowhere on the actual product. Well, whatever, perhaps secrecy is the very nature of a curse.
Let's just jump straight to the 'pin-ups' of the three characters Chap Mei released here.

First up - 'Ninja Ironhat'
(my favourite, love the boar head)




More accessories than a rabid Ninja Demon Magic Animal Spirit fan ever ask for.
Once you switch out all the gears, you basically end up with an all new character:



Plus that 'Light-up Claw McGraw' action?
Serious win!

Second offering - 'Ninja Lizard Eyes'
(Guess 'Snake Eyes' was already taken)



While I'm sure Lizard's don't generally have red eyes (or wolf heads for that matter),
gonna' let it slide because this here's the villain of the day. 


Actually when I first cracked into Lizard Eyes I feared my appreciation for CM's Ninja quality had been premature, with a slightly loose right leg and ill fitting wolf-head he wasn't oozing the same zazz that Ironhat exuded from the get go. Meh, after a coupla' snap n' pops he's feeling awright.

Thirdly, last; not necessarily least, 'Ninja Shuriken'.
(Perhaps we'll ignore the fact that Ironhat carries shuriken also)



Without a doubt Shuriken's cat head takes the cake for sculpt skills.
Also notice no weapon gets repeated amongst these guys. Nice surprise.


Shuriken's human form doesn't exactly blow me away, psycho-degree letter-opener or otherwise, but a series of figures with interchangeable limbs couldn't really rest at two characters - that would be a 
 total disservice to Ninja-kind. Besides outta' the three his quality was tops.


It don't even end there. Each Ninja sports a back sheath, not exclusive to any particular weapon. Anything clips in there tidily... micro USBs, nipple piercings, cat biscuits, list goes on...

If it isn't enough that today's dosage of Ninja Madness involves alternate animal heads and glowing light-up blades, you can always just start from scratch... four-armed, garishly outfitted Assassin freaks. Cat-headed, wolf-and-pig-footed Yojimbo with swords for hands. Etcetera, etcetera, an imagination outbreak awaits.


While it ain't the nu Lego, above a lot of things Chap Mei recieves a tip o' the hat for originality alone. How many figure lines really bother to stand on their own two feet these days? It's almost always licensed characters hailing from games, toons or comics for the big boys to fall back on, if it isn't unlicensed junk copy-cats churned outta' the hell-factories.

I read these didn't get a release in North America, so hopefully they still sell elsewhere in decent numbers, because if Chap Mei gets enough encouragement to release a barbarian/fantasy theme in this scale & styling  - Oh, I'm all over that like a cheesy metaphor*

"If you find yourself in pieces, it still beats no find at all" - rihia2k

*all over that like Pickles on Yopo, baby.
 
PS. Five minutes after posting this I would find an interesting link wouldn't I? Edit medic!!
http://www.actionfigureinsider.com/blog/spymagician/its-holiday-time-now-wheres-my-chap-mei-stuff/

Monday, March 18, 2013

Product Displacement...


 ...


So y'know, that's me at the cheapo department store. Caloundra, QLD. Land of the decrepit living, soon to be dead.

Okay, okay. Yer too cleva, it isn't actually me. I've never posted a photo of myself online. Anywhere.

Ever.

If I had, however caught a snapshot of myself at the cheapo department store, Caloundra, QLD - Land of the decrepit living, soon to be dead (there's a lotta' oldies is what I'm tryina' say), that's exactly what I'd look like.

Why?!

Maybe it has something to with Dr. John Jones. Er... I mean, Indiana Lennon. Er... I mean Indiana Jones the Outlaw. No, wait... John Lennon the Cowboy.

Ah, hell. I don't even know what I mean anymore, China! Thanks for that.

"Whip it! Whip it real bad!"
Oh, man. C'mon, some kids gotta' go to school.
History teacher is gonna' say, "And so who was John Lennon?"
Everett or Elma replies, "Oh, John Lennon was an outlaw cowboy, later portrayed by Harrison Ford and shot by the hero Mark David Chapman for a $15, 000 reward."
Skip twenty years, now Everett's a suicidal salesman, and Elma turns tricks on the corner at dusk.
Cause they didn't learn shit. Thanks, toys. Thank you!


Anyway, $2.99.

Or, eh! Spend .49c less and get more packaging (however that works)


I guess you miss out on the packaging image of two cowboys (ripped straight from a video game I assume), but at least you get the words 'playset' printed on there. Twice. In case you needed to be informed of the fact.

Yes, rihia2k has begun bitching, but c'mawn some moderately intelligent human being had to greenlight this nonsense in the boardroom.
"Ah, they'll never notice it's Indy. Or that I painted this silk tie directly onto my shirt. We shall make nearly $2.50 several hundred times, riches I tell you, riches!!"

Wow, they banned Django Unchained Dolls? And yet this playset teaches kids what exactly outside of Bang-Bang? Go figger.

"To be wealthy requires you have wisdom. To be rich only requires the personality of a heady cheese" - rihia2k.

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Sometimes you're in Queensland.

Sometimes it rains.

And it rains. And it rains.

Lots.

----------------------------------------

Sometimes you're at work.

The evening job.

And it rains. And it rains.

Lots.

----------------------------------------

Then your girlfriend e-mails you a comic she made on the fly...


 
 ... and you realize how lucky and wet you are.

And you have to try not to laugh.

And laugh.

Out loud.

Lots.

(not wanting to appear to your workmates as the poster child of crazed lunacy)

---------------------------------------

In fact I was so stoked with this, I'm leaving my blog quote in someone else's pen hand.
- Hit it, Volt.

"Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination." - Voltaire