Doctor Doomlittle...

Gawdy. That time again? The Thilly Theathon?

I was pretty sure we had a Christmas last year didn't we?

So what does it all mean, Basil?

Means Love.

Means Peace.

Means Goodwill.

Means I finally got around to watching that 'HE-MAN SHE-RA Christmas Special'.
(18 mths without my He-man DVDs, how did I even make it this long?)

Means fostering unimpressed feral kittens... well for this, and the last 2, Xmas's it has...

... and it means work. 4 out of the last 5 years I've worked Christmas, usually harder than normal too. This season my downtime stocking filler involves  water blasting smoke and fire damaged steel atop a scissor lift. 12 hour nightshifts and I luvvit (call me masochistic, please).

Which brings me to someone who knows something about fire damage and steel.
Namely, Vicky VD.

Okay, probably better known to you as Doctor Doom but y'gotta' admit Vicky VD has a ring to it.

I'm not really out to cover say Dooms history as a character here, tbh this blog has about as much practical direction as a one-legged shark, I'm just whisking some crap off the top of the plastic trash box to keep my eyes and hands ocky-pied, and maybe distract me from the miscellaneous naughty-kitty sounds permeating the air of this otherwise most-silent-of-nights.

So, what've the great gods of randomness left us today?

Hmm. 'Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer', Slashing-action Doctor Doom, apparently.
Courtesy Hasbro 2007.

I'm no authority on Doctor Doom. At all. So it's funny this non-canon movie version should be the one to drift ashore.

Sporting purple design-work, smaller cloak clasps, and a waistcloth rather than tunic compared to the classic Doom design, this figure also comes across more detailed. More is frequently less in Doom's style however. When I think of Doc Doom kicking ass and taking names, I picture him doing so with his arms crossed, standing legs astride, a portrait of confidence and dominance. If he really has to exert himself, maybe one outstretched arm oozing with raw crackling power.

Dooms signature body language is simplicity, efficiency and power.

Man's got a face like a forsaken greenhouse salami, why try harder?
Dr. Doom is kind of no-frills; kind of anti-Zumba.

"Feeling Hot! Hot! Hot!"

 

In contrast, this FF: ROTSS movie toy looks like he's dying to get dynamic. Full of poseable goodness, it's tightly pegged, looking to stand the test of arm-twisting time, unlike so many newer Marvel Comics figures which frequently fall like cut puppets within a year.

I probably would have traded the double elbow joints for swivelling wrists, but since I wasn't  designing Hasbro's Doctor Doom toys in 2007, I only have myself to blame.

Heh, looking at it - Movie Doom's suit here has infomercial abs, basically has muscle-def all over it in fact (thankfully no nipples). Comic Doom's suit? Looks like it's 500 years old, can easily rival Tony Stark's costume, but Victor Von Doom's gear carries less aesthetic pizazz than a medieval leper's haircut.

Doctor Doom is usually one hefty chunk of imposing villain, never doubt. Maybe 2007 was the year he replaced a few meals with milkshakes. You could be forgiven, thinking a cold T-800 simply went and mugged King Aragorn, donning his ranger's cloak for the harsh Latverian winter...

"Dammit, Skynet! you know my doombots are patented."

Wait... back up. Slashing-action Doctor Doom? Yeah, that's what this joker's called.
Slashing-action, while not really the trademark Doom maneouvre, suggests a 'feature' worth a moment's gander, and hey what better way to slash than with a mystic-fire axe the size of Texas?

I've never actually seen Doom with an axe, but like I said, I'm no authority. Perhaps every single comic panel featuring Doom which I haven't read has him weilding a huge eldritch gypsy log-splitter. Or not. Maybe it's reserved purely for podium approaching purposes.

(Tell me you wouldn't pay more attention to politics if our nations leaders carried huge glowing melee weapons when handing out their speeches)

Unfortunately, 50 year old Lee-Kirby ignited legacy character or not, Slashing-action Dr. Doom's slashing-actions are weak and clumsy, I could've happily settled for a standard waist turn, but noooo, Latverian monarchs with rivet faces just gotta' have it all. End of the day: an unsatisfying attempt.
I'm blaming the fact that no-one yet seems to have beaten 1981's He-man for sheer power and ease of use in a spring-powered-waist-punch.
I'm also blaming the cloak.

Had a moderate rant in my last entry, generally rating cloth above plastic on the toy cloak and cape front. This is precisely why. Sure true y' can sculpt plastic cloaks to look cool, folds and curves and detail, etc. but when you mangle the toes of a practical feature in a basic hands-on toy (hardly a high-end collectible this) something's getting away on ya.

Very well, all is forgiven. After all this is no representation of the classic Tech-Warlock Science-Despot who can tear holes in the seat of the pants of the universe.

It's the representation of a bitter, mutated astronaut. Made for holding in your 8yr old left hand and smashing repeatedly into the Silver Surfer held in your right.

"Make haste, idiot machine! We've 500,000 cabbage rolls to deliver by dawn!"

 "...and there won't be snow in Latveria this Christmas, the greatest gift they'll get this year is Doom..."

Y'know speaking of Christmas, that which we call a saint by any other hue...?

"OH OH OH, Variant Christmas!"

"Time waits for no man, haste makes waste, he who hesitates is lost, patience is a virtue, the early bird catches the worm, good things come to those who wait...
I mean it when I'm saying, the more you're saying the less you're meaning." - Rihia2k

Confessor (x)...

...... it was probably the cloth... and the black.

Yeah, it was the actual cloth, the black/white contrast, and maybe something else.
The overall simplicity? The nineties innocence perhaps?

It certainly wasn't Busiek's Astro City, not because I've any problem with Astro, I really just don't know it that well.

(Kurt Busiek basically translates in my mind to: Dark Horse Conan)

So whatever propelled me, propelled I was to pick up a figure based on stories I know almost nothing about, for blatantly childish reasons: I decided it looked neat.

(being unopened with 14 years of dust and a low price tag probably helped)

ZJ TOYS? Never heard of them. Toy Vault I do know.

On the shelf I'm tossing up 'tween this guy and some virtual unknown (to me) that goes by the  moniker: Samaritan.
Samaritan carries some stylish Silver Age cheese, sporting in this instance a blue toga and stark red jumpsuit, pumping out a half-Flash-half-Marvelman vibe.

But... I take the less visually explosive route of the Confessor, just in case Astro City turns out to be an Ally MacBeal or My Little Pony spin-off, then my embarassing reminder won't be in primary colours.

Anyways - token cardback snap. Take it. Leave it.

So, who is this Confessor?
In a quick cardback regurgitation;

>Man of the Cloth, Jeremiah Parrish, hits Astro City in the late 19th century to help build the Grandenetti Cathedral.
>Unfortunately gets munched by an undead gypsy, and contracts vampirism.
>Parrish, ashamed, takes a powder in the unfinished cathedral for sixty odd years.
>Inspired by a prominent '50s super hero, he comes out of torpor, using his 'powers' for good.
>Parrish works alone up until the nineties - finally taking on Brian Kinney (aka Altar Boy).
>Kinney deduces Confessor's true undead nature, unintentionally driving him away.
>Parrish/Confessor dies. (Heroically, but I won't elaborate).
>Kinney/Altar Boy takes up the mantle, and its assumed the Confessor still lives.

We're up to date.

I skim wiki-clicked a few Astro City blobs too, and Parrish apparently held his thirst at bay by emblazoning a silver cross on his chest (a literally burning reminder of his faith).

Yep. Being a teetottler blood fiend must really suck.

Turns out Brian Kinney hasn't any powers either (he's Nightwing in Christian get-up).
Though everyone assumes it's the original Confessor running around on rooftops.

But by far the most important piece of info?
Forget all else you just read. Kinneys 5'8". I'm 5'8". How inspirational is that?

...sideways glance...

So the Confessor, note: 'future' Confessor as the insert reads, was posed as above in packet.
Thats not exactly important, but I noticing a little something something before I tore into the plastic bubble. You won't spot it in the photo above, not having three dimensions to go on.
If you magically did, you're good. Too good. And you scare me.

Notice it's a Previews Exclusive - for all the quality control that will soon prove.

So Confessor is simple over all, and simples great, but I am a face-sculpt appreciative too. Here we get both worlds. Variants were released. Original white haired, grim mugged Confessor and a mask wearing version are out n' around, so I'll take a well greased guess that the masked head is the fan favourite.

I'm actually pretty down with Mr. Brian-face. (No, not just cos he's 5'8" in 1:12 scale, yeesh)
Minimal austere cloak silhoutte compliments the clear, plain human face. Some nice juxta-jazz.
No over-sculpted uber-realistic dramas crying for attention.

Did I mention the cloth? Real cloth capes, cloaks and skirts have made a small come back in casual lines like Star Wars, Dark Knight Rises or Marvel Legends. They were standard fare in a number of 70s/80s toy lines (Star Wars again, Battlestar Galactica, multiple Megos, AD&D and Super Powers) but somehow the 1990s caused a good chunk of toy manufacturers to churn out ungainly, static plastic capes and cloaks - often hindering of play and poseability.

So like you do with an errant Scotsman, the first thing in kid's minds with cloth clad figures is to figure out whats under there. I've seen no shortage of 'naked' Star wars Imperial Guards as a permanent testament to this.

So having given Kinney Boy the Marilyn Munroe air vent treatment, whats the juice? Simplicity once more. In black. Good news for a figure customizer and I'm pleasantly surprised the Confessor isn't compiled of 22 abdominal muscle hernias and chisel ripped twin-split muscle-man tits. He's humbly athletic instead... with puffy sleeves.

I also note Confessor doesn't have foot pegs. Hmm? I thought foot pegs were the first law of pushing figures out a factory door so they could immediately start performing the limbo at homes around the world. Guess Confessy don't dance.

More variant knowledge to be had...

There are also versions out there which have Connie's hands sculpted in a vampiric stalk style.
A kind of 'tense talons aimed at the throats of crime' look.
Me? I got the fist. Confessorama doesn't sport accessories so there was nothing to grasp aside from his cape edges but I'm feeling open 'talons' would have come off better than fists.

Actually anything would have come off better than this...

Spot the difference? Ohnoyoudidnt. There is no difference. Two left fists, baby. Two left fists.
Serious Southpaw Syndrome.

I completely forgive the underpaid Chinese employee making a figure they don't give a rat's arse about having a concentration lapse and putting the wrong black ball of 15mm crap into an all black arm socket.

Can I forgive the 'Previews Exclusive' tag? Thrust in my face in pop-purple funko design screaming: Buy! More! You! Now! Get!
Like an anthropomorphic hamburger's siren song to an obese child.

Well, I caaaan forgive...

Ahh, I know this ain't any fault on Preview's part, but what has it ever really meant to see the Previews Exclusive sticker on any given figure? In some gullible portion of my mind it provides an expectation that the only mistake which could possibly befall one of their marked figures is accidentally finding gold bullion packaged in with your toy.

Sigh. I can imagine a lot of stuff. Leaping three times my height to catch a frisbee with my mouth. Playing table tennis in zero gravity. Chasing a Care Bear through the savannah wearing a tuxedo made of marshmallows. I actually have trouble imagining having two left hands. I was reading a book prior to posting this, and I'll be driving immediately afterwards. When thinking of flipping pages, steering a U-turn or fine dining with two left hands my brain does a barrel roll ending up like Max from the Aronofsky film Pi. Touching my own brain in the subway.

Yah well. From across the floor, few will notice Confessor's double digits abnormality, cloak may hide it, but me, I always know it's there.

Hey, at least he can hit Bela Lugosi poses better than any of my other figures and with a perpetual forward looming stance he's a shoo-in for casting as a priest in any Mario Bava flick.

"Äaa! I look a lot better in low light!"

Ha, getting a figure for purely aesthetic value only to be batted out by an unforgivable deformity, that'll teach me...

... nahh.

"...Just keep walking, Bri..."

AHA! Of course. What better time to suggest you a quick read? Absolutely unrelated to my prattling post. You know how you hear or read about a book you can't put down? Let's be realistic, that rarely happens, especially regarding the particular books which actualy promote this idea.

I will admit in my life theres definitely been some overcooked pasta and cold cups of tea attributed with not being able to unglue my nose from a paperback.

One book that unintentionally taught me to brew coffee with one hand not looking? Had me still reading as I walked across the room wearing my best "not now, James" face?

Jeff Ryan's Super Mario: How Nintendo Conquered America.

I was initially worried this would work as a 309 page Nintendo advertisement. No fear. It's well balanced, fact based and unbiased for the most. Ryan's thorough research pays off and the fascinating business history and creative processes behind Nintendo's story are dabbed and dotted with gamegeek references.

There are minor jerky moments to the chronological flow, but Ryan is excellent sifting through 30 odd years of spacey-games ashes here (as well as Nintendo's earlier endeavours) with businesses which switch pole positions and shift leaderboard spots in multiple areas of game development like writhing cut snakes.

It is, one way, a tale of giant corporations, trying to increase their shadow casting stride around the globe like creaking, hulking steel Gundams.

Another way, it's a story of a podgy tiny plumber in red overalls. Jumping for a princess.



>
>
>
You the man, Shiggy!


"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree? Though there's a lot more sun and root space if it does." - Rihia2k.

Queer For Art Thou...

... ha, that's terrible, I've really gotta touch up on my pun-ology.

Old news, that's my news. So with the blindfold on I lucky-dip some news article, and it happens to be homosexuality in comic books.

But... but, that isn't new at all. Same sex gender preference has been in the funny books for ages. (Hello, Alan Moore, Howard Chaykin)

Ah, but it's the big two, Marvel and DC making a frackin' spectacle, now for some reason it matters?
Does it also garner more attention because it's gay males in the spotlight? Like lesbianism is a bit old hat?
Maybe it's that male mentality that if you lock two females in an elevator for over five minutes, they'll be involved in raving passionate love-making before you can get the power back online?

Like we can fill a movie screen with bums and breasts, but chuck a penis in the mix and censorship will push the classification rating right up.

Oh. Come. On, Earth 2012!

Ancient cultures could depict total nudity in sculpture and art and still get the cows in on time.
"Yes, that's a big wooden dick on the mantelpiece."
"Yes, it's a fertility symbol."
"Yes. Now please stop staring at it, man from the future. I have crops to plant."

Big deals.

You know I'm always blown away by how hung up on sex modern humans are.
I suppose this is a good time to add I have no qualms with people's sexual orientation. To quote a certain disfigured cowboy anti-hero, "It makes no difference to me how you sit in the saddle."

And although true, I will resist the urge to write, "some of my best friends are gay." Really strikes me as a cop out line. Especially since I heard a radio interview with a politician, where he used said line, only to follow it up by referring to homosexuals as "those people" for the rest of the show, and ranting on about core family values, oh so threatened by the queer community.

For certain there are dysfunctional homes with core family value problems - abuse, alcoholism, poverty.
How much of this can we really blame on The Village People, is my question?

Of course, there's such a thing as being too PC, where it steps into the territory of becoming heavy handed and patronizing.

There lies my nagging discomfort with this latest high profile comic trend to occur.

Look, it is nice. Totally respect the idea that a same-sex couple in prominent pop culture might be of great comfort to a young gay person who isn't getting adequate support at home or from their peers.

I guess I'd just rather take it all in stride. Easy for me to say, after a healthy handful of decades schmucking around on earth, I don't have a sexual identity crisis or suffer discrimination in that vein.

So my beef? Four words. DC. Reboot. Alan Scott. Reboot. Did I mention reboot?

Relying on reboots is like introducing yourself every time you start a conversation, or like brushing between bites.
People get sick of you awful quick and your apples go brown before you're halfway through.

Uh-hummm. I smell my beef. It's the reinvention that buckles my rails. DC should perhaps change their name to 'Re-reimagine Comics'.
The term "If it ain't broke don't fix it" doesn't seem to exist in DC's writer's minds.

Aww, me grumpy, but honestly I even hate the word 'reboot' as it applies in story writing. DC are more notorious for this than Marvel. (though Wolverine became a metrohead teenager with a bum-fluff goatee at one point)

To me this reboot suggests writer's cowardice. An existing character couldn't simply come out of the closet?
A new character couldn't be created to bravely hold this torch? Nope, there's money involved, better play it safe and use a fan favourite. Even if it is in name only.

Next.



Northstar gets his own cover? Thats news in itself.

Awright. I can appreciate this more. Why have I always been such a bigger sucker to Marvel's treats? I may never know.
Marvel have always done romance and wedding covers nicely - Peter Parker and Mary Jane-Watson, Scott Summers and Jean Grey - they're near photographically stuck in some corner of my mind.
Something that's been done right here? Northstar has been openly gay since 1992. Huzzah! Marvel need not unravel their entire world just to have a gay character stand in the spotlight.

So, there'd be no problem if the Big Two weren't, once again, head butting.
The old Man-Thing/Swamp-Thing headache.
Hammering for hype, clamouring for kudos.

Just glanced at that cover again and I really do dig it.
But, what's this? Am I irritated by something else I read in the article that lead me here?
Oh of course I am.

Not only is it a same-sex marriage, or a human-mutant marriage, it's...
"...comics’ first interracial, same-sex (and mutant-human) marriage."

Oh, for %*#!! sake. "Interracial"?! Thanks mainstream media. I actually. Hadn't. Noticed.
And I don't think anyone should. That's what I mean by too PC, folks.

It's the popular girl at school who exploits wheelchair-boy, and engages on her self-initiated "awareness campaign", shamelessly stacking up some more appeal for herself in the process.
All friggin' heart.

Interracial indeed. Captain Kirk can get jiggy across the heavens with blue and green girls, since 1966, and there's no PC word for that.
Unless you count inter-spacial, ahem.

Time Eric Powell's Hobnail Tennessee boots met the groin of the Big Two.

Suggestion. Read Issue #39 or die tryin', folks.

Aww, mangroves, I gotta' wrap this up. Apparently 4:24am constitutes daylight where I am. Groan...sound of life... occurring.

Basically, having a good storyline which features a compelling gay character is very cool.
Having a contrived storyline, pulling out the gay-card and compiling a two-dimensional, 2nd hand character around that? Just to earn points? Not very cool.

We need to take a lesson from the Japanese here. No, I'm not talking about having your school uniform explode. I mean letting your characters be heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual, because that's what people are.

You shouldn't have to stop the press.

Tee Hee. Inter-spacial.

"I never met a cat I didn't like, it's true.
To say I never met a cat that didn't like me, is just arrogant." - Rihia2k

Bishop to King Alien...

... ah, good, toys.
One of my favourite things in life, along with y'know, breathing... a functioning central nervous system, dat stuff.
Let us focus on the luxuries though.

Actually gots a big bunch of Kenner's '92 Aliens stuff back home, never opened them for some reason or another. So it's a first for me. In most ways, you open one early nineties Kenner fig, you open them all. Mind blowing stuff it ain't.

Alright, anyone that paid attention to the movie Aliens probably noticed Lance Henriksen didn't sport super-imposed sunglasses or a cybernetic scalp. Perhaps Kenner sent Mr. Henriksen a letter of apology stating they just didn't believe his face could support an action-figure on it's own.

That's just this line for you, they played around with the Aliens characters and universe - no holds barred. It's an absolute crack up.

Okay, Bish-man wasn't really designed for carting around heavy ordnance either, but let's not have the facts stand in the way of pure cool. Not hard to see at this point that Aliens Marine figures weren't built for busting into kung fu poses and the like, they're pretty much set to stand around in pre-posed form with maybe a single 'action feature' purpose.
We get a bit more of a kicker for this synthetic human though...

Ah, joyousness. I love figures with snap-off-injury/blast apart designs.

"I get knocked down but I get up again"

Bonus - gatling gun arm replacement, can't scoff at that.
So yeh, he does what a figure needs to do. Nuthin'more. Just watch Bishies grip on that brittle plastic gat-gun handle. My unopened one is broke in packet.

Y'know, in an ideal world every figure's playability would be enhanced by incorporating spilt milk.

Apone In The Dark...

While I'm coating action-figures in breakfast foods its tempting to pour cereal over my next figure and leave it at that, but I ain't wasting Coco-pops. It's the only damn cereal I have!
I'm a grown-up.

Oh, brother - this one gez me every time. They mention - "right arm now bio-mechanical".

Weeell, considering Apones dead he might kinda' need a bio-mechanical everything.

Ut oh, there's more...

Teehee. Lovin' the shirt. No Bugs, huh? Yep, Sgt. Apone's first encounter with the 'Bugs' was also his last encounter with 'em. He wasn't too well informed on the Xenomorph front either, so there's a heckuva coincidence. Maybe that shirt was just to tell the ladies he's free of pubic lice and doesn't have the flu... or he ran off to have it printed seconds prior to getting fragged. Your call.

Sarge's action-feature pales in comparison to Bishop's pretty seriously. He has a meek swivel spring-waist, and the idea is that this be utilized to throw his wibbly-wubber grenades around. Actually they're 'Mega Grenades', but 'wibbly-wubber' describes they're soft composition infinitely better. I can't pretend to know what Kenner was doing with the soft rubber grenade thing. After all Corporal Hicks has a hard plastic missile launcher, so I'm sure it wasn't safety concerns.

No. It wasn't safety concerns. Good luck injuring anything with this one. Apone doesn't just throw like a girl, he throws like a girl T-rex. The grenades, if they don't casually fall over the back of Apone's arm, don't leave his hand at all.
Wow. THE two worst scenarios in any grenade throwing situation.
BANG. "Medic, we're gonna' need a whole lot more bio-mechanical arms over here!!"

Mmm, difficult to select a fave. Apone's just such a great character even if his figure features don't hold up next to synthy-poo. I think it's nice the designers didn't let a little death or movie accuracy stand in the way of embellishing the legend but good. Portraying the Marines as the authority on Xenomorph smack-down.

Hail to the King Alien...

Awright, one more, I'll be quick aboot it.

Aha, King Alien. See? There we are with some tale telling liberties. The Xenomorphs survive on a hive structured scheme, Queens, drones, workers whatever... Kings - not so much. Apparently a King Alien does exist in early Aliens role-playing games though, but let's not completely geek out here.

Maybe it just assimilated Elvis Presley's DNA.

It's one rather straight forward figure - cuts a pretty silhouette, and there is a variant version with bright green paint applications (I prefer w/out). One thing noticeably absent is the presence of a nasty-ass spiky tail.

Yay! Head-grabby-action feature thing, neat. The lack of tail does serve a purpose, basically there's a squishy rubber thorax in place, so Kingy can have acid squirty cuddles with his selected prey. Functions like a very basic squirt gun, so you can fill it with water, or cola, or urine, or an even mixture of the three. Boy, am I fulla' quality advice today.

It sorta' boggles the brain to reflect on HR Giger's initial material, and then how that dribbles thru the cracks to allow Kenner to poop out this material for the kids. Some folks was downright disgusted by the lack of movie accuracy associated with this line, but hey, it was play time. Children probably shouldn't be scoping out Aliens flicks in the first place.
Maybe we should just be grateful Kenner didn't go wild with fleuroescent paint jobs and cannisters of goo everywhere. (actually the goo woulda' worked superbly here).

Hoookay - my rambles reminded me I should check out 'Prometheus' one o' these days.
And while its completely unrelated to anything on this blog today, YOU should check out a film called 'Beasts of the Southern Wild', the only good piece of advice I'm likely to share this year. Stunning film.

Righto, as Private Hudson says, "Game over, man. Game over!"

"Running out of luck is okay sometimes. Helps build initiative." - Rihia2k.

AWA With The Faeries...

Eyuggh, what's this all over my hands? Oh... it's just time. Well if I've gotten that on my hands, I guess updating the blog can be justified.

I promised myself this post would involve at least one action-figure. As per usual, selected random as.

It's hard not to deviate - with a spontaneous recent round trip to New Zealand's North and South Islands, back to Queensland, and with ventures into marshland and native parks, it's been a mildly hectic month. Mildly hectic? Whatever.
I'm back in Eversummerland however, so I'll do what I intended in putting up a post on the plastic frontier.

I dig around op-shops from time to time, but I can't help thinking the face of thrift-shop hunting has changed in the last few years. Guess this depends on what you're panning for, but when I see trousers that retail new for $29 going for $60 in the charity store, well I get a little grizzly.

So I was stoked when I saw a pair of little black legs that hail from a better era in toy making poking through the endless rainbow mountain of contaminated toddler toys and McDonalds figures (damn you Kung Fu Panda! yer everywhere).


I'll buy that for halfa dollar

I didn't know who it was until fully exhumed, only had legs to go by... so was pretty happy on revealing the regal head of one half of The Road Warriors. Courtesy of Remco, 1985.
I never intend to cover a whole figure line on here... ever, so if you need more info on AWA Wrestlers click the greatest gosh darn link you're likely to find today -

http://www.action-figures.ca/

Done? Good, I'm proud. To be honest I'm not much for wrestling since, ooh 1992 or so. WWF to be precise. I don't think AWA was even screened in New Zealand, but when WWF hit it was met with fevered enthusiasm by every man-child around. Suddenly Hulk Hogan was every boy's secret father, the Ultimate Warrior was, well THE Ultimate Warrior, school corridors were ringing to the tune of bullies 'clotheslining' dweebs, older brothers were now suplex and DDT machines, and putting a friend into Jake the Snake's Sleeper Hold was simply the new "hello".

WWF trading cards were quickly banned from my school, and children would enter into lengthy negotiations with parents mid-week to ensure they could stay up past 9pm on Saturday to watch the televised destruction.

Originally Hawk here would have come with, like a cloth tunic, booties and a belt (or some such) AWA Wrestlers generally did, but I'm content with my 'nude' version. Seeing as i don't collec' wrestler toys, I'll soon get Hawk sporting a weapon, and once I tack a generic helmet on him he'll make good army fodder for going up against Remco's Conan.
(Remco's fantasy lines and wrestler lines generally share the same body type)

Actually Road Warrior's Hawk here provided more food for thought than I'd anticipated. Specifically, he was a real person. I  stopped to consider it, and basically very few of my action figures are. Steve Irwin, MC Hammer... think that's it.
Hawk, I discovered after a little research, like too many wrestlers, passed over at a young age (46 years). Heart failure in 2003 if memory serves correctly. So y'know, I gotta' respect the guy for jumping around like a psychopathic rockstar maniac. I get a cool figure for his efforts.

Let's face it, pop wrestlers get bagged a little by the bulk of society. They don't always get sufficient credit as athletes or actors, although they maintain a rather precarious balance between the two. Part stunt person, part long-term-health-sacrificing gladiator. Hey, if you look up a little info on our recently departed Macho Man then, uh, musician can be added to the mix of wrestler's talents. C'mon, who else is gonna' release a rap song to honour the death of Mr. Perfect?

So yah, thanks Michael 'Hawk' Hegstrand man, you and Animal did your part to slake the blood-thirst of the masses, meaning we can avoid cruelty to lions and save matchsticks otherwise wasted on 'illuminating' christians.

"They say just be yourself, so, what if you're a copy-cat by nature?" - Rihia2k.

There's No Such Thing As Pee-Free Parking...

...this is one of those things I inevitably learn the hard way.

I guess there's a number of places you shouldn't park in Australia. Under an African Sausage Tree would be one.

 (them fallin' gourds is heavy, and I've seen a caved in windscreen that I suspect was caused by this... nasty)

Under a possum would be another.

Sigh. So it was trade in time for Al/Big Gay Al, the old faithful van. Though trusty(ish) and loyal(ish) throughout it's service, it was twenty years old. It served as transient home/bed briefly, holiday camper, and as work vehicle and city runner.

However, practical is as practical does, fuel economy this, air-con that, blah blah blah.
Plus that ambiguous interstate registration thing was getting annoying. Honestly - South Australia and vehicle ownership
- it's like Mad Max 2 down there.

So, out with van - shuffle paper, etc. - in with car. Like the van, it's manual for your safety, so I play with less action-figures at the traffic lights... mos'ly.

Ahem - yeah, but what I didn't take into consideration was parking.

Don't park on-street because I don't haff to, plus I like having wing mirrors.

Now you can't fight nature, ya gots ta harmonize, see? But if harmonizing means scrubbing oily-thick-brown-tar-piss off the rear window and boot EVERY single day for the rest of your life then something is wrong.

I really do love possums, but this diagram needs editing...

Eh, what ya gonna'do? Didn't matter so much with the van, that thing was a huckery old queen anyway (I'm pretty sure it used to sneak off and hang around on ghost ships dressed up like the captain's wife), but the car is gonna' stand out in a bad way if it's perpetually dumped and slashed on.

So, it gets a car cover. Poor thing, now it looks like it's mother dresses it. Oh well, maybe I'll get myself a pocket protector and start wearing a shower cap outdoors so it doesn't feel alone.

Possum wins.

Melbourne street tolls - payable by mandarin and/or pizza

"Those who doubt the power of fiction need only be reminded of money. Most powerful fictional character ever created" - Rihia2k

Beauty is in the Axe of the Beholder...

...look, it's not every day I fall in love, okay?

Every second day possibly, but aspects of fantasy card games and Skull Force action figures aside, if you're net-able and haven't hit yer head on the derailing and intoxicating awesomeness which comes from the two and only Nicolle bros., you are missing out.

Picking up The Goon from my not so local, but ultimately loyal, comic shop I also got ta fill my hand with some sweet-ass full colour Dark Horse published 'AC' goodness.

Don't let me stop you, link yerself to where you didn't even know you'd rather be...

(unless of course you're already familiar with axe cop, and for some reason aren't interested in reading it right now, in which case you're a bad guy and he will cut your head off!)

http://axecop.com/index.php/achome/index/

"It's amazing how quickly we can find a new problem, when we can't find an easy solution." - Rihia2k

Nukem if you've got 'em...

...and if you ain't got 'em?


So it's 6.01am, alarm blares, clumsy hand reaches to stifle the unwelcome sound of enforced consciousness.
What's the first vision that greets you in your waking life?

Valkyrie pouring your coffee? Quadrupedal fur ball licking your face? Your own hand trying to block out the impending light of dawn?

Or, like me, is there a fifty/fifty chance you're greeted by the proverbial chauvinist cigar-chomper? A steroid-built, bubblegum-chewing shaved-ape? A mega-macho, anti-hero, male-fantasy character produced by a bunch of mouth-breathing key-punchers?

Namely the Duke...

...coming into focus yet...?

...I gave in and got my first Neca figure. I have plenty of Mezco produced action-figures, never opened any of those, but this Neca figure didn't last 5 minutes without my greasy mits tearing into it.

...plenty nice write up...

More where that beautiful idiocy came from.

Tee Hee

I LIKE IT! (my only complaint is that I now spend hours under my work desk retrieving that 16mm cigar)

Now, let's recall where it all began.
If I say, "Remember the original Duke Nukem?", over half of the folks I'm asking instantly refer to Duke Nukem 3D, the first-person-shooter produced around 1996 .

Aww. No love for Apogee's 1991 PC platformer...? Crystal Caves? Secret Agent? Commander Keen?

If only the parents knew where this was going. Duke was always meant to have, what, attitude?
But heck, so does Sonic the Hedgehog.

I just don't see Sonic the Hedgehog smoking, womanizing and playing with poo in the dark future.

Anyways, the proof is in the pudding. And this is some seriously radio-active pudding. Neca have done well to capture the ludicrous beef-cake that is Duke Nukem.
Maybe too well...

Takin' a macro photograph of human skin is always disgusting, but one doesn't expect the same kinda' grotesque to be captured in toy form. The whole 'dark-wash on matte' effect kinda' worked out neat. There's also the nice random aspect to some of the detailing.
Unfortunately one of those 'random-aspects' wound up on Dukes top lip, making it appear as though he's caught a little Pig Cop intestine on his face during the heat of battle...

...or he's just really lazy at wiping his nose. I wouldn't put it past him.

He can do the whole dynamic pose shot. Basically though, your other action-figures will be privileged to recieve so much as a blase kick in the groin.

In aiming his weapon, he gives the impression he's not really paying close attention to where he's firing, which is probably about right with Duke. Considering Lady Luck is, well, a lady and all. Therefore putty in his hands (like all dames, right?).

Let's face it. The Duke figure is probably designed to sit around chomping stogies while the earth gets pulverized around him. Of course he is clutching a handgun in his downtime, but that's just Duke Nukem... he probably shaves with that thing.

16mm of carcinogenic goodness...

Mean.
C'mon, it ain' often you pick up an action-figure what smokes. That it is actually a removable accessory is not only hilarious, but hell for anybody who is tryin' to quit.

So, yeah. 3D Realms took their lil' side-scrollin' Apogee guy, gave him ceegars, sunnies and a penchant for the babes.
Gearbox Games took that guy and brought him into current 1st person gaming.
Finally Neca gives our evolved, some might say devovled, Duke the sculpted posey plastic treatment and voila! I'm a happier camper than before.

There are previous versions of Duke toys, plus some way funky extra-terrestrials in that line. Though I think this version of the Duke captures his 'bastardry' a little better.

Who knows, maybe one day we'll get to see a figure in his original 8-bit awesomeness.

Well, until they turn Commander Keen into a junky vampire...

..sigh, yep.

"If your picture is worth a thousand words, both could use a little improvement." - Rihia2k