Ha Spec-dracula! Geddit?
Bwahahahahaha! I'm laughing like a fat, bald, hammer wielding man outta' Golden Axe.
-ahem- yesss.
Spec-dracula.
So, there I am stopped in Peak Hill. I've seen a gang of turkeys and a middle aged woman dressed as a clown. I probably want coffee, been driving, it's hot. Despite the underwhelming general store, I did just see a turkey making a break for it. I did jus' see a real to goodness clown with an empty table and a soda, plus a profoundly unhappy expression (beneath the make-up). What mores a guy desire?
Guy desires comics. Well he does now because he just saw a book store...
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| Dracula as he should and does appear in Dracula Lives! No.4 |
So I do my perusing, skipping the Frew Phantoms (a thing o' the past for I), and dive into the dusty box of horror mags. On my best behaviour I just settle for the Dracula Lives! and the Vampirella mag.
Dracula Lives, and is also Lord of the Undead - there's a conflict of interests!
There were a bundle of the not-quite-Warren knock-off mags too. Y'know the ones with titles like Horror Encounters, Pit of Hell, Tomb of Evil, Nostril of Madness, Thing of Stuff etc, etc. Which I admit I dig, but have plenty of back home.
Happy with aforementioned acquisitions, arrivederci. But hold, what's this?...
Well... it's Dracula... again... but, but - purple tights? Let's see, "Dracula Finds His Specialty" (and it ain't in his dress sense or name selection) Sumthin' not quite right...
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| Al U. Card, oh ho I geddit. (and it hurts) U for Ulysses. Crucial info that! |
Aw, Sweet Monkey Sputum! My blinking Dracula! He's wearing a blue business suit and fretting over the life of a human being! Did I walk in halfway through here? Let's recap...
"Dracula using the assumed name Al U. (for Ulysses) Card, has come to the United States. The family name he wishes to clear of the false legend which surrounds it is little know here. In his homeland tyranny prevails. Perhaps here, he hopes, he can find the peace he seeks to put his new found powers to work... to work for peace of all men."
Aha! So clearly not Vlad the Impaler we are familiar with. Rather a descendant from the Dracula line who wishes to clear the family name. Fair enough that... but did it mention the name is "little known here"? Here being the U.S.A.?
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| Dracula, outsmarted by B.B. Beebe. |
The name Dracula. Unknown. Here. U.S.A. 1973. I got two words for ya...
...Bramstokerbelalugosichristopherleejohncarradinehammerhorrorlonchaneyjr... wait...
B.B. Beebe? -kinda name izzat?!
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| "Quick guano break methinks, not suspicious at all in daytime" |
Gets mentioned in this mag, by Al himself, that he essentially possesses no powers outside of becoming a huge bat from time to time, and even this Mr. Card is only capable of when he's knocked back some vial of generic geneticist-juice. In fact his overall goal for half o' this comic is to create a brew enabling this metamorphosis to be brought on at will any time.
Peace of all men - Bat transformation juice - same thing.
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| Well, it's no Weta Workshop. |
Well. It's one of those days Drac.
B.B. Beebe is at risk of drowning... slowly... to death... in her van, but you're such a good man you don't want to inconsiderately wreck her half submerged vehicle and make her upset, do you? How conscientious, there's a moral dilemma everywhere these heroes turn.
Maybe if B.B. winds the window down, hands Drac the keys, winds the window up, undoes her seat belt and puts on the wipers, he'll be able to get her out of there without getting his socks wet.
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| Un-B.B.-Beebe-lievable. Rrowrrr, bad kitty! |
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| 10000 pts for obscurity if my girlfriend and I cosplay like this I reckon... |
Sigh, spoiler alert: she didn't listen. Dracula insists crankily that B.B. leave him to his work. By work we mean perfecting more serum. Which will save the world by giving everyone the option of turning into a bat at will...? It's not specified . Good-O. But this is fated never to occur, rather fate will give us - Fleeta.
That's right, creeps! Fleeta.
Our zany B.B. rushes in, just up and gulps the last of the mixture and poof! she's blue clad. With bat options to boot. Fleeta, she derives from the German word fledermaus, for bat.
Mmm, cute. Beats Al U. Card. Tho in staying a-tune with the rest of the strip, Fleeta's name oughta' have incorporated the four B's in her name.
Buxom blonde big bat? Blue bottom bunk bat?
Though before you worry that Dell comiks stopped by merely 'improving' our dear Dracula...
We get a one panel plug of some other vaguely familiar sounding hero out there in the U.S.A. of 1973 -
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| It's not easy being green, even harder when yer arms don't match. |
Right. Quick. Top o' yer head. Gimme three words to describe Mary Shelley's most horrific and popular character creation. Um... maybe - World's. Strongest. Hero.
Egads! Not only has he been re-imagined as an eloquent, humane Dolph Lundgren with green face paint, but 'ere Dell've performed that most diddle shriveling act of ignorance ever to befall our favourite re-animated corpse - referring to him as Frankenstein.
Sigh, it's Frankenstein's Monster, Dell. Monster.
(I'm choosing to ignore the fact DC comics has the same thing in current publications, because I'm picking exclusively on Dell and the year of 1973 here)
So while Dell borrowed at least two Universal Monsters in '73 and revamped them. (ha revamped)
Dracula - with purple tights and bat fetish, no dark past or penchant for blood smoothies.
Frankenstein - kindly strongman with permanent avocado morning mask.
It's natural to wonder, who else did they bite on the bum and infect with ludicrous goodness?
Perhaps, Olaf Wolf-man, a full bearded mountaineer with the ability to persuade dogs to pick up after themselves.
Or, Joe Mummy, former racing car driver with the ability to turn invisible between 6:00pm and 11:30pm.
It only makes sense.
"Sure I'll put a sock in it, but mine're full of holes anyways"- Rihia2k
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