Doctor Doomlittle...

Gawdy. That time again? The Thilly Theathon?

I was pretty sure we had a Christmas last year didn't we?

So what does it all mean, Basil?

Means Love.

Means Peace.

Means Goodwill.

Means I finally got around to watching that 'HE-MAN SHE-RA Christmas Special'.
(18 mths without my He-man DVDs, how did I even make it this long?)

Means fostering unimpressed feral kittens... well for this, and the last 2, Xmas's it has...

... and it means work. 4 out of the last 5 years I've worked Christmas, usually harder than normal too. This season my downtime stocking filler involves  water blasting smoke and fire damaged steel atop a scissor lift. 12 hour nightshifts and I luvvit (call me masochistic, please).

Which brings me to someone who knows something about fire damage and steel.
Namely, Vicky VD.

Okay, probably better known to you as Doctor Doom but y'gotta' admit Vicky VD has a ring to it.

I'm not really out to cover say Dooms history as a character here, tbh this blog has about as much practical direction as a one-legged shark, I'm just whisking some crap off the top of the plastic trash box to keep my eyes and hands ocky-pied, and maybe distract me from the miscellaneous naughty-kitty sounds permeating the air of this otherwise most-silent-of-nights.

So, what've the great gods of randomness left us today?

Hmm. 'Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer', Slashing-action Doctor Doom, apparently.
Courtesy Hasbro 2007.

I'm no authority on Doctor Doom. At all. So it's funny this non-canon movie version should be the one to drift ashore.

Sporting purple design-work, smaller cloak clasps, and a waistcloth rather than tunic compared to the classic Doom design, this figure also comes across more detailed. More is frequently less in Doom's style however. When I think of Doc Doom kicking ass and taking names, I picture him doing so with his arms crossed, standing legs astride, a portrait of confidence and dominance. If he really has to exert himself, maybe one outstretched arm oozing with raw crackling power.

Dooms signature body language is simplicity, efficiency and power.

Man's got a face like a forsaken greenhouse salami, why try harder?
Dr. Doom is kind of no-frills; kind of anti-Zumba.

"Feeling Hot! Hot! Hot!"

 

In contrast, this FF: ROTSS movie toy looks like he's dying to get dynamic. Full of poseable goodness, it's tightly pegged, looking to stand the test of arm-twisting time, unlike so many newer Marvel Comics figures which frequently fall like cut puppets within a year.

I probably would have traded the double elbow joints for swivelling wrists, but since I wasn't  designing Hasbro's Doctor Doom toys in 2007, I only have myself to blame.

Heh, looking at it - Movie Doom's suit here has infomercial abs, basically has muscle-def all over it in fact (thankfully no nipples). Comic Doom's suit? Looks like it's 500 years old, can easily rival Tony Stark's costume, but Victor Von Doom's gear carries less aesthetic pizazz than a medieval leper's haircut.

Doctor Doom is usually one hefty chunk of imposing villain, never doubt. Maybe 2007 was the year he replaced a few meals with milkshakes. You could be forgiven, thinking a cold T-800 simply went and mugged King Aragorn, donning his ranger's cloak for the harsh Latverian winter...

"Dammit, Skynet! you know my doombots are patented."

Wait... back up. Slashing-action Doctor Doom? Yeah, that's what this joker's called.
Slashing-action, while not really the trademark Doom maneouvre, suggests a 'feature' worth a moment's gander, and hey what better way to slash than with a mystic-fire axe the size of Texas?

I've never actually seen Doom with an axe, but like I said, I'm no authority. Perhaps every single comic panel featuring Doom which I haven't read has him weilding a huge eldritch gypsy log-splitter. Or not. Maybe it's reserved purely for podium approaching purposes.

(Tell me you wouldn't pay more attention to politics if our nations leaders carried huge glowing melee weapons when handing out their speeches)

Unfortunately, 50 year old Lee-Kirby ignited legacy character or not, Slashing-action Dr. Doom's slashing-actions are weak and clumsy, I could've happily settled for a standard waist turn, but noooo, Latverian monarchs with rivet faces just gotta' have it all. End of the day: an unsatisfying attempt.
I'm blaming the fact that no-one yet seems to have beaten 1981's He-man for sheer power and ease of use in a spring-powered-waist-punch.
I'm also blaming the cloak.

Had a moderate rant in my last entry, generally rating cloth above plastic on the toy cloak and cape front. This is precisely why. Sure true y' can sculpt plastic cloaks to look cool, folds and curves and detail, etc. but when you mangle the toes of a practical feature in a basic hands-on toy (hardly a high-end collectible this) something's getting away on ya.

Very well, all is forgiven. After all this is no representation of the classic Tech-Warlock Science-Despot who can tear holes in the seat of the pants of the universe.

It's the representation of a bitter, mutated astronaut. Made for holding in your 8yr old left hand and smashing repeatedly into the Silver Surfer held in your right.

"Make haste, idiot machine! We've 500,000 cabbage rolls to deliver by dawn!"

 "...and there won't be snow in Latveria this Christmas, the greatest gift they'll get this year is Doom..."

Y'know speaking of Christmas, that which we call a saint by any other hue...?

"OH OH OH, Variant Christmas!"

"Time waits for no man, haste makes waste, he who hesitates is lost, patience is a virtue, the early bird catches the worm, good things come to those who wait...
I mean it when I'm saying, the more you're saying the less you're meaning." - Rihia2k