Remember December...

You know those days you have...
days where you're hooking up a new tailgate for your unfixed abode.
A day where you've been parked under a tree for nine hours, the sound of munched droewors inside your face, reading the long awaited last issue of Baltimore: The Curse Bells and Hellboy: House of the Living Dead, generally testing out the long-term livability of your van.
Smelling like the panelbeater's in-season dog, and trying t' feed crows baby clams near the bus stop.
It's good to be passing thru...

Those days you have...
when it's the last day of 2011, you're dressed in your best Zelda shirt, drinking litres o' Crystal Spring water and testing various features of the vehicle, last minute touch-ups, fingers black and masculine with tar and grease as you unscrew an inside panel, changing your tailgate lock in an awkward, fiddly position.
The whole time reminded of your last similar labour of love - the arcade machine.

You know those days, where every two hours some passerby wishes you "Happy New Year", or every four hours some 13yr old kid asks you for a cigarette...
One o' those days where, when tinkering with aforementioned van, you can't help but overhear some 8yr old ask his Mum, "Are we gonna' have a smoke?".
To have her slur out at you, "Schlappy Nhew Eyeahr, DoOOooOOd!'', suddenly realizing it's weed the kids talking about as you look up to see Mum - suddenly two metres away from you, wobbling like a weevil and - oh ho! - now vomiting in a bush having given you a decidedly scary grin.
Charm.

One a' them days where, because you're not bastard enough, you offer an irresponsible Mum some water because you cannot grant her barely comprehensive request for a tissue, making a vivid mental note to keep that cup in van quarantine until you can cleanse it by fire back at the flat... simultaneously declining an offer from Drunk Mum's Friend of poorly rolled, crumby pocket joints, thrust in your face by a bandaged hand..., "We'ah arr gowin' to thah beEech, yooo shilld come, DooOod!"

Really? Really? Two 'pyjama-clad' Mothers with a pocket full of cannabis and a mouth full of throw-up, barely capable of standing or speaking coherent English, are taking two children near a huge body of water and bustling crowds of strangers... at 7:30pm ... to celebrate past midnight. Good luck.


- 10 Hardest Things About December 2011 -

* Getting out of bed.
* Getting sufficient sleep despite that.
* Doin' stuff... theoretically.
* Successfully completing the doin' of stuff, for stuff your doin'.
* Being awake when you need to sleep.
* Being asleep when you need to wake.
* Convincing your partner nocturnal people have rights too.
* Being 'conventionally' good, while being 'actually' good at same time.
* Oh yeah.. that whole Christmas thing.
* Keeping secrets.

Shut up, you're random!

"A fear of the dark and a fear of not seeing are quite different.'' - Rihia2k

SAnimals...

I gotta' laugh... or just smirk perhaps.

Remember things read online, and I probably just shouldn't.
People spew from the brain to an unpredictable audience like never before on earth, every line so profound, every opinion so well thought through... right?

Ahh, forget it. Just kids, with little life experience, yet so much technical dexterity.
Little practical wisdom yet so much social pseudo-knowledge.

How far we've come...
Some kid posts video-blogs of her father David Chapman, who suffered a stroke and spends the duration of these amateur clips silent with a bewildered expression.
People instantly take Dave here for Mark David Chapman (John Lennon's killer) and start venting their rage and disgust impulsively -
"this is less than you deserve''.
''Hope you rot in hell, you *#!%!'', etc, etc.
So end result? I'm watching bad, silent, shaky footage of a very unhappy (exploited?) looking stroke victim. This is playing atop a string of misguided, ignorant, foul-mouthed death-wish abusive comments.
I can't help thinking,
''Is this what humans can show off to visiting extra-terrestrials as a milestone of our achievement?'',
"Is this why folks forefathers died in the wars?''.

Other trash that flows over my retinas online are comments like,
"I've tried every type of magic in the world and none of it worked, so I know magic isn't real''.
Deep, man.
I mean, I can obviously forgive this junk when it's coming out of kids heads, but it's scary to see what politicians sometimes post online, to think there won't be consequences.

Ones that have me grin every time are the comments made regarding James Cameron's Avatar, specifically, 
''After watching Avatar, real life is just so depressing, I don't want to live anymore''.
Holy Nanna-spaz! That was a pretty easy defeat! Forget nukes or biological weapons, we'll just fracture everyone's morale with special effects better than Mother Nature's and graphics better than God's! Then people can just start offing themselves.
It ain't music like Deicide or Cannibal Corpse that's screwin' da kids, it's mainstream animated films 'bout respecting nature.

Well, I'll be away from the mind-numbing bollocks for a while, (even more than I have been) getting the hands dirty again, always happiest when I'm on the road, camping out and getting stuck in on a farm or property.

List of Patronizing Hints for Avatar Victims -
(Okay, I fancied Melina from Total Recall, she's fictional, but it didn't get me down)
-ahem-
a) Next time look out of a window instead of into a screen, you'll save $$, and if you jiggle your head round you'll notice it's 3D!
b) Keep looking for the duration of three hours, you can chew n' heckle as loud as you want! And it won't affect your vision!
c) Right click and save an animal picture from this blog, colour it pink in photoshop, yay it's like a Pokemon now and you have the added knowledge it really exists.

Note: you could take it a step further by colouring in an actual live Australian marsupial with food colouring, but it's not my aim to get you arrested.

''The best thing about Facebook? I'm not on it'' - Rihia2k