The Pun-Issuer: Bore Zone...

A month slips by. Autumn comes around in my earthquake struck country, and I guess I oughta' blog a thing.

Remember those 80's testosterone-fest action flicks sporting big men with big guns? Yes, there's a little bit o' that left over in all of us, like it or not, born in 1995 or 1945. Stupidly violent, mind rotting, 'say it with bullets' movies are a solid slice outta' 20th century life.

Ah,  and the language that became textbook material:

Stab / impale someone = "Stick around" or, "They got the point".
To drop one off a cliff = "I let them go".
Death by stringing up = "They're hanging around".
Introduce someone to a wood mulcher or grenade = "They went all to pieces".
Fire someone from a missile device / decapitation = "They had to ... shoot off / head off".

Obviously it is endless, and not restricted to the '80s or action genre films. But before we quit, my personal favourite:
Impale somebody wearing chainmail with a broken steam-pipe in a last ditch attempt to rescue your daughter = "Let off some steam, (insert name here) / Bennett".
Yep, the default name is Bennett if you find yourself in that position. Glad I could help.

Thanks 1985...

So y'know The Punisher? Ex-military man Frank Castle (or Frank Asshole to some). Lost his family in a mob-hit and swore to wage a one man war on organized crime? Well I flicked off all my Punisher comics last week. Yep. All of 'em... gone, finito. Not one War Zone, War Journal, Wolvie or Batman crossover, or annual left in my house. Not that amazing, huh? But kinda' really, cos' I'm terrible at thinning out my collections of anything, whether I still read it, play it or display it doesn't matter. It's as though I just have to have collected things sitting around in case extra-terrestrials visit earth searching for a Tomy handheld game or certain issue of Marvelman. Hoarder perhaps, but The Punisher's out. I hear he mighta' killed someone...

"Like my barber". Y'know, Frank trusts this guy & goes after Spiderman in his first appearance.
Grief sure do make an anti-hero dumb.

Growing up, perhaps? Running little risk of that, but how many issues of a one-man war on crime can you really read before realizing it's a 37 year old story of stale sticky vigilantism that's never really gonna' flex or bend? It's fun, but it's like eating too many chips then getting chips for xmas. Hardly brain food either. Still I have Conan and Jonah Hex collections, so how do they differ? Shrug.

Faces o' Frank. Your focused likeable avenger v.s. your tortured psyche, monster killer.

Guess that makes such things readable, the varying artists portrayals, the change in writers and throwing the odd crossover character in like Venom, Spidey or Wolvie. Really it's been a pretty mixed bag over the years, with some writers focusing on the guilty pleasure of humorous uber-violence, some the grief stricken anti-hero, and others keepin' it so straight-laced you near feel like your reading Commando or Battle comics.



Ooh. Finally mind blowing material, the Punisher sports a beard.

The P-meister gets hairy due to amnesia. Still, you gotta' love that Bisley, man! If every Punisher was a Biz Punisher ... well, I'd nay be throwing it in.  Here's a little somethin' 'bout our man Frank that always bugged me.




"... I coulda been a kid"
"Tread was too heavy"
Tread was too heavy!? Lucky I wasn't a fat-kid!
Or a light-footed assassin.
Or a courier carrying anvils ...

And that's it right there really. Collateral damage? It's nice they touched on this point in the most recent movie, when Frank kills an undercover. Over the course of the comics they've had him question himself and be questioned by the do-gooder gangs, but still skewed the angle for the reader. A bit too much I kinda' thought. In fairness the current Puni comics (I don't follow) seem t' make him as ugly as he should be. Beyond redemption, and a bit more complex than 'Conan with a gun'.

In film the Dolph Lundgren n' Ray Stevenson movie versions held a better sick bitterness the character required than I think Tom Jane could pull. I really dig the fact they didn't see it necessary to emblazon a skull on Dolph's shirt, and the MRE eating, sewer dwelling, scratchy jersey Stevenson version seems to be everyone's favourite. (Don't get me wrong Jane's fine in The Mist, Mutant Chronicles and even Scott Pilgrim) But next to Ray n' Dolph, Jane's voice acting for the PS2 game was possibly his best Punisher work.

Gamewise... yeah I'll be keeping the pixel blasting versions of this character. About once a year I might get the urge to torture, I mean "Punish" a crackhead with a sliding window frame, or place a mafioso on a rhino horn... as you do. Plus The Punisher on Sega is too much classic Capcom beat 'em up fun.
Aww heck, I suppose it's worthwhile to keep these then ...

Seriously. On the right... What next a 'Dead Maria and Kids' playset?

If only for the sheer contrast!
Well for me at least the wars over, I'm too old for this crap, better just stick to my Aeon Flux cartoons and Ween songs like a real grown up. Hmm, come to think of it I never got my hands on Archie meets The Punisher, aah the war's not over, the war's not over!

"Dirty plates don't clean themselves, but clean plates get dirty all on their own" - Rihia2k.
... huh?