Dough Fawkes...

...

Remember, remember!
    The fifth of November,
    The Gunpowder treason and plot;
    I know of no reason
    Why the Gunpowder treason
    Should ever be forgot!

Effigy.

My mother, brother and myself once made a Guy. We spent a few after-school hours putting him together. With balloon head, straw hat, an old pair of jeans and button up shirt. Held stable with an old broom handle and branches. My favourite aspects of Guy were his grey sock feet and rubber dish-washing glove hands. Caringly stuffed with scrunched up newspaper. Apparently that activity really appealed to me when I was wee.

This cloth golem remained a guest in our house for a couple of nights until some exciting afternoon (well, I suspected something was meant to happen).

We lived right next to the beach, so off we trundled, Bro, Mum and I. And, boy, was I proud - we had a new friend even if his fashion sense was completely terrible.

Mum lit a small fire as the sun set, we munched marshmallows with our new compadre and then Mum said, "Okay let's burn him."

It's obvious what happened next. I was appalled with her sudden violent notion to hurl our esteemed companion into the flames of perdition. One doesn't simply burn their dinner guests. My Aunties never ended up in the fireplace when they came round for tea. Even if they did wear terrible 70's trousers like Guy.

My mother smiled and my older brother face-palmed for the rest of the week. (I suspect he had to face-palm for most of his youth after I was born).
Due to my dewy eyes and infantile sensitivity Guy ended up back at our house that evening in one piece, where I promptly forgot about him once Knight Rider came on.

...

Speaking of effigies...
 Ah yes, don't have fireworks this year, but did have a handful of dough a while back, so tha's gonna' have to do...

...behold Dough Fawkes...

Doesn't try to blow up parliament. Doesn't get set alight. Doesn't go down in history. Doesn't plot.

I daresay, based on my childhood inability to flambe scarecrows, Guy Fawkes fate might have been considerably different had I been England's Chief Justice in 1606.

... but then again the real Guy Fawkes didn't have scrunched up newspaper glove hands ...

___________________________________________________________________________________

"Let something go and you eliminate the chances of it being taken from you" - Rihia2k.

Blind Update...

... man.
Ain't lazy. Just like to take it easy while I give it hell.
Still, 4 months - no update, is some kinda' record even for me.

Not like you'll miss anything you couldn't very well read elsewhere;
There's some government somewhere shut-down or whatever.
And a flock of vejazzled twerkers...that's about it.

But, heysa! Gettin' caffeinated in the car, taking in the sweet even-chirp of cricket song , it's a Sunday and having already finished work - there's a screen in front of me so...

... surviving cracking my head on the bathroom cabinet yesterday and going strong after a week of eating too much pumpkin (is there such a thing as too much pumpkin? Seriously - pumpkin pie, pumpkin zucchini loaf, pumpkin juice w/ cinnamon, nutmeg, honey, ginger), I guess it would only be sensible to refrigerate this stale blog before it ends up like J-Rex's lunchbox that time she left it lying out like an exhibitionist on chloroform.

"Honey, I'm home."

 

Hardly idle times last week though, zipping down to Byron Bay and Wooyung, NSW. 

# Body-boarding resulting in sand burn, (J-Rex screaming with delight catching waves and me laughing so much I kept falling off, trying not to swallow half the ocean).

# Seeing whales, dolphins and crabs without even trying.

# Finding an injured long-nosed bandicoot in the driveway where we were staying, calling the wildlife hotline and meeting them down the road (middle of the night - middle of nowhere) to pick it up. Poor beggar had 3 engorged ticks on it too... gross. Ah, engorged ticks, no one likes you. Probably because you're like grapes, if grapes drank blood and wore the gangly legs of a jerkwad.

# Mullumbimby. Slated as Australia's most funked-up limb-wiggling small town or some such.
Hmm, virtually no people there... maybe cos the fish and chips cost like a squillion dollars!

# Surf-boatin' out to go ocean snorkeling by a marine reserve called Julian Rocks. Saw sea turtles here, which was incredible, but after an hour bobbing up and down in the middle of the sea it was kinda' nice to get back on the deck and dry land.

Yeah. Dry land but still Terra In-firma wherever I'm standing, buddy!

"If you only do what you see, won't be long 'til you can't see what you're doing" - rihia2k

Right, now back to important things like watching the rest of The Devil's Daughter from 1939...

Two For the Price of None...

So. Anyway. I did just get off of a plane from Indonesia the other week, and you'd expect I'd blog about that (being a completely immersive experience in real time reality and all)...

Buuut... I'm just gonna' link ya to my two fave webcomics. Because I finished work at 7am and, despite my desire to promptly lose consciousness, I'm meant to be doing productive things with vinegar... and possibly refined linseed oil... (colourfasting and painting, anyone?)
... take the wheels... pick up some hardware... clear out my comic store bag...

Only then, when J-Rex gets home, can we continue our game of  'Balloon Volleyball with Inflatable Batman Hammers' where we left off  (she stands on the couch, but at 5ft I guess it ain't cheating).

PS Kiss beer.

PPS Sleep.


... ah, that's right...

 ... shuffles here ...

 ... doing manly things here ...




probably should link you to Bizarro Blog, but ah you've got a search engine
Arrivederci, baby.

"The only thing more important than fun is ensuring everyone can maintain it" - rihia2k

Bugs & Kisses... 2

Ha! Who knew mosquitoes still existed when they're not in my bedroom?

Look, the next time I'm about to get mugged, I'm just gonna' put my bum over my head.
And pretend to be a scorpion.
Because it seems to be working for Mrs. Goliath Stick Insect here...

The Zodariidae Hunti Baehr. Ant eating spider.
Exudes the ant 'fear' pheromone. Then eats ants.
A little bit like the guy with the gun saying, "Look out he's got a gun!".
Aah, arachnids, you crazy kids.

 

"Excess in moderation over moderation in excess. Anyday."

I'm Gonna' Generically Ninja This...

... Meanwhile ...

http://vintageninja.net/

Without heading into my life story, I once  had a 'bad Chap Mei experience'.
That might sound like something initiated at a restaurant, resulting in messy gastro issues, and a week off of work, but Chap Mei is actually a toy company. They're rather popular in their own way nowadays. My first experience, however, left a sour taste in my mouth...

... basically a packet o' cheap 'Police' Action Figures I acquired. For animation purposes;
- We're talking oversized pistols (from entirely different scales).
- Brittle hands that snap to pieces after a second's interaction.
- Flaking paint jobs applied with all the finesse of a vibrating ketchup bottle.

Stop-frame animation wise, they proved about as practical as a cellophane nightshirt.
Truth be told these may not have been Chap Mei figures but I made an association.
So, grudge holder that I am, I figured Chap Mei, Chap Mei, never no more.

Until... 5 years on...
Chap Mei wants to make a liar outta' me.
Of course that only requires a 5" ninja with an alternate animal head - and I'm sold.

...TRY ME. JUST TRY ME...

Labelled as 'Ninja Curse' on the internet, on my receipt, & on the shelf. Labelled as 'Ninja Curse' nowhere on the actual product. Well, whatever, perhaps secrecy is the very nature of a curse.
Let's just jump straight to the 'pin-ups' of the three characters Chap Mei released here.

First up - 'Ninja Ironhat'
(my favourite, love the boar head)

 

More accessories than a rabid Ninja Demon Magic Animal Spirit fan ever ask for.

Once you switch out all the gears, you basically end up with an all new character:

Plus that 'Light-up Claw McGraw' action?

Serious win!

Second offering - 'Ninja Lizard Eyes'
(Guess 'Snake Eyes' was already taken)

While I'm sure Lizard's don't generally have red eyes (or wolf heads for that matter),

gonna' let it slide because this here's the villain of the day. 

Actually when I first cracked into Lizard Eyes I feared my appreciation for CM's Ninja quality had been premature, with a slightly loose right leg and ill fitting wolf-head he wasn't oozing the same zazz that Ironhat exuded from the get go. Meh, after a coupla' snap n' pops he's feeling awright.

Thirdly, last; not necessarily least, 'Ninja Shuriken'.
(Perhaps we'll ignore the fact that Ironhat carries shuriken also)

Without a doubt Shuriken's cat head takes the cake for sculpt skills.

Also notice no weapon gets repeated amongst these guys. Nice surprise.

Shuriken's human form doesn't exactly blow me away, psycho-degree letter-opener or otherwise, but a series of figures with interchangeable limbs couldn't really rest at two characters - that would be a 

 total disservice to Ninja-kind. Besides outta' the three his quality was tops.

It don't even end there. Each Ninja sports a back sheath, not exclusive to any particular weapon. Anything clips in there tidily... micro USBs, nipple piercings, cat biscuits, list goes on...

If it isn't enough that today's dosage of Ninja Madness involves alternate animal heads and glowing light-up blades, you can always just start from scratch... four-armed, garishly outfitted Assassin freaks. Cat-headed, wolf-and-pig-footed Yojimbo with swords for hands. Etcetera, etcetera, an imagination outbreak awaits.

While it ain't the nu Lego, above a lot of things Chap Mei recieves a tip o' the hat for originality alone. How many figure lines really bother to stand on their own two feet these days? It's almost always licensed characters hailing from games, toons or comics for the big boys to fall back on, if it isn't unlicensed junk copy-cats churned outta' the hell-factories.

I read these didn't get a release in North America, so hopefully they still sell elsewhere in decent numbers, because if Chap Mei gets enough encouragement to release a barbarian/fantasy theme in this scale & styling  - Oh, I'm all over that like a cheesy metaphor*

"If you find yourself in pieces, it still beats no find at all" - rihia2k

*all over that like Pickles on Yopo, baby.
 
PS. Five minutes after posting this I would find an interesting link wouldn't I? Edit medic!!
http://www.actionfigureinsider.com/blog/spymagician/its-holiday-time-now-wheres-my-chap-mei-stuff/

Product Displacement...

 ...

So y'know, that's me at the cheapo department store. Caloundra, QLD. Land of the decrepit living, soon to be dead.

Okay, okay. Yer too cleva, it isn't actually me. I've never posted a photo of myself online. Anywhere.

Ever.

If I had, however caught a snapshot of myself at the cheapo department store, Caloundra, QLD - Land of the decrepit living, soon to be dead (there's a lotta' oldies is what I'm tryina' say), that's exactly what I'd look like.

Why?!

Maybe it has something to with Dr. John Jones. Er... I mean, Indiana Lennon. Er... I mean Indiana Jones the Outlaw. No, wait... John Lennon the Cowboy.

Ah, hell. I don't even know what I mean anymore, China! Thanks for that.

"Whip it! Whip it real bad!"

Oh, man. C'mon, some kids gotta' go to school.
History teacher is gonna' say, "And so who was John Lennon?"
Everett or Elma replies, "Oh, John Lennon was an outlaw cowboy, later portrayed by Harrison Ford and shot by the hero Mark David Chapman for a $15, 000 reward."
Skip twenty years, now Everett's a suicidal salesman, and Elma turns tricks on the corner at dusk.
Cause they didn't learn shit. Thanks, toys. Thank you!


Anyway, $2.99.

Or, eh! Spend .49c less and get more packaging (however that works)

I guess you miss out on the packaging image of two cowboys (ripped straight from a video game I assume), but at least you get the words 'playset' printed on there. Twice. In case you needed to be informed of the fact.

Yes, rihia2k has begun bitching, but c'mawn some moderately intelligent human being had to greenlight this nonsense in the boardroom.
"Ah, they'll never notice it's Indy. Or that I painted this silk tie directly onto my shirt. We shall make nearly $2.50 several hundred times, riches I tell you, riches!!"

Wow, they banned Django Unchained Dolls? And yet this playset teaches kids what exactly outside of Bang-Bang? Go figger.

"To be wealthy requires you have wisdom. To be rich only requires the personality of a heady cheese" - rihia2k.

Error 404 Rage Not Found...

Sometimes you're in Queensland.

Sometimes it rains.

And it rains. And it rains.

Lots.

----------------------------------------

Sometimes you're at work.

The evening job.

And it rains. And it rains.

Lots.

----------------------------------------

Then your girlfriend e-mails you a comic she made on the fly...

 
 ... and you realize how lucky and wet you are.

And you have to try not to laugh.

And laugh.

Out loud.

Lots.

(not wanting to appear to your workmates as the poster child of crazed lunacy)

---------------------------------------

In fact I was so stoked with this, I'm leaving my blog quote in someone else's pen hand.
- Hit it, Volt.

"Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination." - Voltaire

Terra Retardāre...

... my brain.

Well, wholehearted apologies in advance dear people, but basically...

* Up at the crack of dawn - check

* Vegetable Market located - check

* Australian Garlic - check

* Broccoli - check

* Bok Choy - check

* Orange Captain Planet figure - um... check?

Tiger Electronics' Captain Planet figures had no qualms with releasing multiple versions of CP from 1991 onwards. Tearing a page straight outta' Batman's book we had - 

Arctic, Pollution Armour, Flying, Meteor Explosion, Talking, Anti-radiation and (my favourite)... All-American Captain Planet. Gettin' "All American" on a global scale, baby!

"Anti-radiation Captain Planet" - now able to sit closer to televisions

Anyways, when you unintentionally acquire an orange skinned, red eyed, generally creepy action figure, having read too many terrible internet memes, and then update your blog outdoors in the wee hours (to the background noise of One Direction and kookaburras) - bad things happen.

Unfortunately the following isn't offensive enough to appeal to the immature, nor tasteful enough to appeal to anybody with a half-refined sense of wit.

100% certified brain-rot. Yer welcome.

"You are not what you buy. Rather what you stand by" - rihia2k